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Uncyclopedia:Wilde/S

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He's a Wilde Thang!
Welcome to the Wilde Side
of Uncyclopedia
Check out the Wilde Image Series!
Here you will find a repository of quotes
from the Late, Great
Oscar Wilde!
Choose your poison below:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
0 — 9    # ∩ ~ ...



Salvation Army

“The Salvation army is second to none.”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Salvation Army

Santanism

“Santanism is the one, true religion, above all, which will definetly not make life easier”

~ Oscar Wilde on Santanism

Samurai

“Samurai are honorable warriors. Which means they're pussies compared to Ninjas.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Samurai

Sasquatch

“I like 'em hairy, but this is ridiculous!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sasquatch

Saxony1

Cyrano de Bergerac? Let's see, sat he not upon the Queen Mother's knee in Saxony?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Saxony

Saxony2

“Love her in the day-time, love her in the morning, love her all night long.
Love her in Saxony, love her in Cornwall, love her internally.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Saxony

Scissors

“I can never cut a line straight. This ought to be, for I never do anything straight.”

~ Oscar Wilde on scissors

Sconed

“So in other words..a bored guy smacked his mate over the head with a scone and said "sucka got sconed" ?”

~ Oscar Wilde on sconed

Scott Joplin

“Had I been alive when Scott Joplin wrote Maple Leaf Rag, I certianly would have participated in countless acts of sodomy while listening to it.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Scott Joplin

Scuba

“There is nothing more stunning to mine eye than watching a dozen crows wheeling majestically under the water in search of clams.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Scuba

Sega

“wtf n00b, go back to your gay nintendo, sega 4 teh win LOL”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sega

SEHS

“Holy shit - that dude's head just blew off! Did ya see that? That was fucked up!”

~ Oscar Wilde on SEHS

Sexism

“I remember when my dad gave me the father-son talk. It was so amazing, the way he said women should cook and clean, while men sit on their fat asses all day.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sexism

Shit

“This shit is epic.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Shit

Skeet

“It is a black slang word and if white people knew what it meant they wouldn't play the song”

~ Oscar Wilde on Skeet

Skeith

“That sucka tastes REEEAL good with grape jelly and beer.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Terror of Death

Slashdot

“Netcraft confirms it - Slashdot is filled with linux fanboys.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Slashdot

Sleep

“Sleep? I tried that once. It didn't do anything for me.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sleep

The Smartest Men of War

“When it comes to any kind of war, the smartest man stays neutral.”

~ Oscar Wilde on War

Smuts Hall

“They are better than you (at networking washing machines), and they know it.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Smuts Hall

Sneeze

“A hearty sneeze a day is Nature's way of propagating the joys of influenza”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sneeze

Snoop Dogg

“Yo all you punk-ass niggas, bitches 'n hos, Snoop Dizzle be the shizzile, so don't be making me bust a cap in yo ass, by talkin trashizzle 'bout Snoop.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Snoop Dogg

Sniper

“Don't be giving me none of that crazy razor bullcrap!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sniper

Snooking

“Snooking loopy nuts are we, me and 'im and them and me.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Snooking

Soap opera

“If a man can not think of a better thing to do than watching that trash, then he is tired of life!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Soap opera

Socks

“I like to go into a laundry mat, go to a finished dryer, and steal one sock.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Socks

Softball

“Why do they call it softball? Isn't the ball just as hard as the ones they use in regular baseball?”

~ Oscar Wilde on softball

Space Jam

“Who wants JAM from SPACE? I mean, it's just gross.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Space Jam

Space-lizardmen

“They bit me man, they bit me. And it wasn't even a blowjob.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Space-Lizardmen

Space Shuttle

“Why are the Americans so bad at Badminton? Only a Welshman could lose more shuttles than they have!”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Space Shuttle

Stakeout

“Sometimes you must go outside the law to enforce it!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Stakeout

Stalin

“You hear people say a lot of things about Stalin, but that was only after he was born.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Stalin

Star Trek: Nemesis

“One Parisian model does not a summer make”

~ Oscar Wilde on Star Trek: Nemesis

star wars

“Either that planet goes or I do”

~ Oscar Wilde on Alderaan

Stavanger

“Sta-what?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Stavanger

Steve Martin

“EXCUUUUSE MEEEE!”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Steve Martin

Sudden Instant Death Syndrome

“I prefer to think of it as a 'surprise afterlife'.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sudden Instant Death Syndrome

Super AIDS

“As a noted bear masturbator and wit, I have long known that AIDS was none other than Super AIDS in glasses.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Super_AIDS

Sweden

Norweigan chicks are ugly. I mean c'mon, who wants to make out with a fucking Viking?!?!?!?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sweden

Sword of Omens

“The Excalibur ain't got nothing on the Sword of Omens!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sword of Omens

Sylvester Stallone

“Only the pessimist will judge wallpaper by genius in all things invisible. The exotic fruits know no bounds of ethical absolution.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sylvester Stallone