Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 9

October 9: Weasel Day

• 2349 BCE - The proto-badger, a distant relative of the weasel, goes extinct when Noah tosses the only surviving pair off the ark for stealing his yams.
• 942 - Weasel stomping in invented in Anglo-Saxon England.
• 1086 - The Domesday Book notes the average price of a stoat at 1 groat.
• 1490 - Leonardo da Vinci paints Lady With an Ermine, the first mustelid pre-photobombing recorded in the West.
• 1674 - Issac Newton discovers Weaselpudge. Nobody cares.
• 1754 - It is alleged by some that on this supposed day, weasel words were probably invented or perhaps created.
• 1862 - The Cheasel is invented.
• 1872 - Rudolf Weasel changes his last name to Diesel. The rest is history.
• 1881 - The Japanese Stomping Fish, which has nothing to do with weasels, is discovered.
• 1899 - Pop Goes the Weasel is licensed for every jack-in-the-box toy. Small children drive their parents insane playing the tune, leading to the Second Boer War.
• 1930 - Nazis adopt the Horst-Weasel song as their anthem.
• 1937 - The Spleen weasel is discovered in Paris, France, without rioting for a welcome change.
• 1938 - The Disney film Snow White is released in Europe with the song Weasel While You Work. Parisians take it personally and rioting ensues during the intermission.
• 1940 - John Lennon is born, and promptly marries a weasel.
• 1961 - Ferret racing is invented in Australia. It is not held where you think it might.
• 2007 - A woman gives birth to a weasel. This will grow up to be the Antiweasel, signalling the end of the world. People will be forced to carry the mark of the Beast on their foreheads, which will be a weasel word, theoretically.