Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 26

October 26: International Time Travel Day, Enjoy Whale Meat Day (Japan).

• 1492 - Christopher Columbus invents herpes to pass the time on tedious transatlantic voyages.
• 1701 - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is incorporated as an American city in order to protect its cheese steak sandwich monopoly.
• 1776 - The first Continental Congress adjourns in Philadelphia instead of Harrisburg, because that's where it was.
• 1805 - Citizens, using stolen British documents, develop simple time travel and travel back to 1701 and eradicate Philadelphia in order to save the East Coast from what would be present Philadelphia. They make a second stop a bit farther east and remove an area of future New Jersey for good measure as well. All is peaceful.
• 1822 - The Rock discovers the secret to time travel and goes back in time to kill Hitler, only to realize Hitler wasn't born yet.
• 1917 - The first lifetime limited warranty is created when Congress passes the Broken Stamp Act of 1917.
• 1944 - Albert Einstein and Nikola Tesla invent a time machine by accident. They travel to 1996 and meet Elton John, The Spice Girls and Bill Clinton's cigar. They promptly return home, dismantle the time machine and deny it ever happened. It has become known amongst conspiracy theorists as the Philadelphia Experiment.
• 1980 - A time-traveling Dr. Emmett Brown creates the 1981 DMC DeLorean, so he can use it later as a time machine.
• 1985 - Dr. Emmett Brown invents a time machine out of a DeLorean.
• 1988 - Bill and Ted build a time machine out of a phone booth for access to space porn.
• 1988 - Pre-emo angsty teenage outsider, Donnie Darko, avoids being killed by a time-traveling jet engine by sleeping on a golf course.
• 1988 - Pre-emo angsty teenage outsider, Donnie Darko, is killed by a time-traveling jet engine.
• 1994 - The first Time Cop is trained; he turns into serial killer, but accidently destroys own grandmother, creating a paradox called Doctor Who.
• 2000 - It is discovered that Rosa Parks was actually a middle-aged caucasian man named Hank.
• 2001 - The First Time Traveller's Convention is held in New York. No future is being reported.
• 2003 - The US government develops a time machine, George W. Bush travels to the past to party with his past self and Hitler.
• 2006 - Some angsty teenager has an internal conflict with herself about stuff that only Col. Sherman Potter and his son Harry Potter would understand.