Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 4

February 4: International Nobody Does Anything Interesting Day

• 1204 BCE - Romanian peasants weary of their oppressive king, gather and march in a group 100,000 strong on the capitol. They present a list of demands to the king, who comes out of his castle and yells at the crowd. Everyone grumbles and they all go home.
• 220 - Emperor Cao Cao of the Han Dynasty, knowing the end is near, has the imperial chef make him his favorite sandwich.
• 1066 - Celtic warlords, finding the weather too poor to do battle, take a water break.
• 1142 - Starving peasants in medieval Brandenburg continue to starve.
• 1210 - Genghis Khan once again levels a city to the ground and kills all its residents just out of force of habit. This time, he carelessly allows someone's pet gerbil to live. Knowing she is only a gerbil but with a heart full of revenge, she digs a burrow and waits, only to be eaten by a snake later that day.
• 1366 - Cake doughnuts with frosting replace plain ones as a favorite in Austria.
• 1877 - Charles Dickens has constipation, contemplates going to the doctor.
• 1943 - Hitler finds some time out of his day to play with his dog Blondi.
• 1968 - Lyndon B. Johnson drinks some really bad coffee, tells his wife.
• 1977 - Eric Clapton orders a tuna sandwich from the deli but is given egg salad instead, doesn't notice until he gets home.
• 1989 - Gerard Strassner, of Utica, New York, finally starts listening to R.E.M.
• 2004 - Mark Zuckerberg invents the Facebook status, making Nobody Does Anything Interesting Day an everyday holiday.
• 2014 - Space aliens land throughout North America and take control. As this happens at 5 AM, Americans just roll over and go back to sleep, thinking to take care of it later in the day after having their morning coffee.