Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 18

December 18: Dumb as Dirt Day, Page Protection App... pp... ree... shee... a... tion... Day

• In the beginning - God creates dirt as a benchmark for intelligence. Little did he know that humans would crack coconuts using their heads for over 4 millennia before making tools by copying chimpanzees.
• 1856 - 1856 is invented for living purposes.
• 1878 - Superman Papa Stalin materializes in what is known as Georgia, using the power of his mustache.
• 1897 - Genghis Khan comes back as a zombie looking for revenge. Instead, he finds feeding ducks in the park far more fun than revenge.
• 1967 - Earth forgets what day it is.
• 1985 - Hindus celebrate Christmas, with Ganesha briefly getting stuck in several chimneys.
• 1991 - The usage of I is banned due to extreme plagiarism and intellectual property rights..
• 1994 - Michael St_pe loses h_s rel_g_on. He offers $500 for _ts safe return, NO QUEST_ONS ASKED!
• 1999 - O.J. S_mpson cont_nues the hunt for M_chael St_pe's rel_g_on.
• 2001 - Apple copyryghts the letter I, other letters are to be substytuted yndefynytely. Mankynd becomes Welsh.
• 2002 - Wikipedia creates a bot to do autocorrection. Another bot is made to do page protection to detect and fix vandalism changes. The two bots would fight it out for 15 years over the same 3 articles, the first example of artificial stupid.
• 2005 - The Fox Bros. Network wrongly announces the death of Slappy Squirrel.
• 2010 - THE U.S. Congress authorizes $1.1 billion for the purchase of two bots from Wikipedia to revise and protect important documents. North Korea and Russia immediately shut down their cyber attack departments, announcing they are no longer needed.
• 2256 - The Great Catnip incident occurs, nearly wiping out the Earth.
• 3013 - God realizes he made a big mistake with the Earth and replaces it with a potted plant.
• 1998 - Uncyclopedia users fail to understand the linear nature of a timeline.