UnNews:Uncyclopedia RAN OUT OF MONEY!!!

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16 December 2006

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A typical Uncyclopedia bum holding up a "The End is Nigh" sign on what he thought was Wall Street.

UNCYCLOPEDIA, Wall Street (UNN) - In a shocking announcement today, an Uncyclopedia bum, yelled at people walking on the sidewalks. "The END IS NEAR! ALL IS LOST! ALL IS LOOOOST!" he/she (so hard to tell nowadays) screamed, which startled some people but left others undeterred. The bum, a self proclaimed Uncyclopedia purist, saw earlier today a banner ad asking for donations at the top of Uncyclopedia pages. "You can give the gift of knowledge by donating to Uncyclopedia! Them banner did sez," explained the Uncyclopedian, "But how is the lagniappe of cognizance be the hobnobber of Uncyclopedia? The entrustment of jack for erudition is an inkling of the end of Uncyclopedia."

The announcement shocked the intelligent people at Wall Street but baffles regular Uncyclopedians with a lack of perspicacity. After much deliberation, the Uncyclopedia Council for World Domination called a Harvard mathematician who alacritously expounded what the dude means. The head of the council then yelled on the phone "WE RAN OUT OF DOUGH?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?"

A spokesperson later explained that the council has been alerted that Uncyclopedia did indeed run out of dough and, unbeknownst to the fuhrer CEO president democratically elected chairman of Uncyclopedia, has been bailed out of bankruptcy by a stealthy hostile takeover by Wikipedia. The council is currently occupied with an emergency meeting with Jimbo Wales, sole creator and absolute ruler of Wikipedia. A decision is expected in a few hours where speculations abound that the council will be dissolved and there will be an eradication of all admins, sysops and beureaucrats of Uncyclopedia following order 66. A close source to the council slipped a note to a pack of journalists that says "Get help. Darth Jimbo is coming."

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