UnNews:Trump battles on
| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Wednesday, June 26, 2024, 02:33:59 (UTC) |
| Trump battles on | 
|
7 November 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C., USA -- Our heroic President Donald Trump is holding out in the capital of the country in a secure bunker underneath the White House. Whilst the forces of the Blue Rebel Army trash the capital above, our brave leader is working on a plan to break free and declare victory.
As communications with the White House became difficult as no one seemed to know what was going on, news channels caught this transmission from somewhere deep inside the West Wing.
Whilst some former members of the regime or allies like that never Trumper Mitt Romney have already capitulated and surrendering their army of lawyers to Sleepy Joe Biden and his Communist controller Kamala Harris, others are standing firm with the Fuhrer...er the president. We know a relief army of weekend warriors from the United Militias for Freedom are outside the capital and are waiting to catch the Blues off guard. The Red Army will win. Let me hear your balalaikas ringing out as Georgia's always on my my my my my my my my my mind....Anyone got any fresh hamburgers? (here the line became more garbled and was broken off).
Whilst Trump remains inside a fortified building, more of his former associates are now giving up the battle and asking for peace terms from the Axis Austin Powers. Others are still fighting in bastions around Fox News, Rush Limbaugh's garage and Bill Barr's kitchen. Once the American people learn of the true depth of the Great Election Fraud of 2020, there will be an uprising. The MAGA will return, wading in shore in their chinos and ready to nuke China. Long Live Trump!
(An emailed message was sent to all loyal supporters of Donald Trump demanding urgent donations. Click Here to contribute.)
Sources[edit]
- Staff "Biden predicted to win but the count goes on". BBC, November 07, 2020