UnNews:Police reunite for murder case

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Democracy Dies with Dignity ✪ UnNews ✪ Sunday, December 22, 2024, 02:11:59 (UTC)
Police reunite for murder case UnNews Logo Potato.png

2 February 2007


(audio) UnNews Audio (file info)
Listen to this story!
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
Sgt. Buzz Sting says "This is a very high-profile case."

LOS ANGELES, California -- Three members of the Los Angeles Police Department -- Sgt. Buzz Sting, Officer Andrew Summers, and Officer Stewart Copelandson -- are reuniting for a murder case, some 23 years after they originally disbanded. Says Sgt. Sting, "We've been paged because a stalking that turned into a murder 23 years ago has been reopened. There's new evidence and stuff and we'll find the culprit sooner or later."

Sting, Summers, and Copelandson joined the LAPD in 1977 and have solved high-profile crimes, such as the Roxanne Prostitution Case of 1979, the disappearance of a man who sent the officers a message in a bottle, and they even helped arrest a schoolgirl who was getting too intimate with her teacher. They also arrested the teacher in that incident. Then came their biggest case yet.

A young woman was being stalked by a young man. The young man kept writing annoying anonymous letters to the girl which read:

"Every breath you take/Every move you make/Every vow you break/Every step you take/I'll be watching you"

and similar threats. The case was closed in 1983 when the trio broke up and has never been solved. The man was neither identified nor found.

The Police, now reunited.

Says Sgt. Sting, "This is a very high-profile case for us, and it's time to bring this dude to justice, whoever he is and wherever he may be. They think they have some DNA evidence or something."

Officer Copelandson agrees, "With our guns, this kid will not want to stand so close to me."

A hearing in the stalker-murder case is scheduled for February 11. Justice Yoda will preside the trial.

Sources[edit]

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:Police_reunite_for_murder_case&oldid=5377900"