UnNews:Obama goes strong to the hoop, scores on Libya

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A newsstand that's brimming with issues ✪ UnNews ✪ Sunday, December 22, 2024, 07:13:59 (UTC)
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18 March 2011

He's been knocked around but he's now on the floor and ready to take a money shot.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Barack stayed far away from the goal, but as the shot clock was running down, he swiftly shifted gears, penetrated, staged an air attack, and dropped da bomb on Libya.

Four weeks into the Libyan bloodshed, the lanky forward nicknamed the President completed his NCAA picks, filled out his brackets live on ESPN, and was able to turn his attention to the conflict at hand. He checked into the game at crunch-time.

Cheering fans had been confused, as Undercoach William Burns had vowed to use the entire might of the United States to thwart Gen. Gadhafi's fight with rebel forces--"short of putting boots on the ground." Some fans were concerned that Big Barack could not legally sink the winning shot while sitting on the bench. Finally, the star player did get in the game--but confusingly, asked the referees for permission to score. The American public was kept up-to-date by messages on the Twitter service as the drama unfolded.

It could be worse; we could have a President who lacks gravitas.

The refs did declare a no-fly zone around the Libyan goal, presumably allowing the hosts to go into a zone defense. Barack entered the game, with scant time left on the clock, and swooshed toward the goal for the shot that would decide the game.

However, the team's key player cautioned the fans that "victory" in the war-torn country isn't necessarily the goal. "I'm always worried about using the word 'victory,' because, you know, it invokes this notion of Hirohito signing a surrender to MacArthur." Such a development would take all the fun out of a basketball game.

Developing -- Keep following UnNews for the final score

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