UnNews:Nuremberg-style trial for FIFA

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We have met the enemy, and he is us ✪ UnNews ✪ Saturday, April 20, 2024, 13:40:59 (UTC)
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3 June 2015

FIFA executives can expect this.

LONDON, United Kingdom -- Britain's War Leader David Cameron has confirmed that FIFA executives can expect a 'Nuremberg' once charges are formally laid against the Swiss-based Evil Organisation. The charges will include the willful exclusion of England from hosting the World Cup since 1966 and personally snubbing Prince William in 2010. The trial will be held in London, the birthplace of Association Football. The BBC have already bagged the TV rights with Gaby Logan anchoring gavel-to-gavel coverage: ratings-boosting eye candy for the otherwise all-male affair.

The long struggle to topple FIFA started when the organisation's dictator Herr Sepp Blatter and his cohorts planned to take over the world and turn everyone into football fans (read 'Soccer' for Americans). This was only defeated when the Americans joined the war and invaded Switzerland with the help of local allies. Now with FIFA's leaders in prison and awaiting justice, David Cameron promises it will be the 'trial of the century' and expects England to come out on top - after the USA receives the 2018 World Cup tournament as a reward.

Dressed in a pin stripe suit and coughing on a large cigar, Cameron beamed at the waiting media:

Gaby Logan in a swimsuit.

"Make no mistake, this is a victory for the Allies. We stood alone in 2010 after we lost our bid for 2018 but thanks to Uncle Sam, we have won the war. Now we will have our chance to see Blatter and members of the FIFA National Socialist Embezzlement Party put on trial and found guilty."

Britain (England) will send a full panel of football pundits to oversee the trial. Gary 'Hang'em High' Lineker and Football Association chairman Greg 'I've Got My Finger In' Dyke are expected to be there. The show will feature live chat with lawyers talking about the penalties, slow motion replays, red cards and black caps when the death sentences are handed out. Representatives from the other allies - USA, France (but not Russia) will also take part in the trial.

Sources[edit]

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