UnNews:Nigel Farage "only human" to attend ITV debate

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3 April 2015

Left: Ugly like an average working Briton. Right: Ugly like a weirdo commie geek.

SALFORD, England -- Following the ITV leaders' debate Thursday, all other leaders were dubbed "overprepared" as Nigel Farage was the only politician who came across as a normal Briton by being the most obnoxious and scapegoating foreigners and immigrants at every possible juncture. While Ed Miliband was accused of trying to sex-up viewers by staring down the lens with those bulbous dark eyes, David Cameron was criticised for being "ill at ease" defending his record, Nick Clegg was criticised for speaking in the first place, and the rest were criticised for being women and having accents that aren't relevant to most British people, Farage seems to be the only man in politics left who knows how to talk like your everyday Tommy down the pub; while the others' speech is stuck in the 19th century, his is only stuck in the 1970s.

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Although SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon was praised for her promise to tackle austerity, which was not made by any other leader, she was criticised for understanding economics as it made her look like just another out-of-touch career politician, while Nigel Farage remembered the only thing that matters to the British electorate is to talk and act like them, and so put Britain's problems squarely on AIDS patients and refugees.