UnNews:Man Cuts Off Leg To Be Featured in UnNews
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| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Wednesday, April 24, 2024, 23:19:59 (UTC) |
| Man Cuts Off Leg To Be Featured in UnNews | 
|
22 May 2008
This is a diagram of the different stages of his death
Indiana: A citizen of NoWhere, Indiana recently cut of his limbs. This man was an addicted UnNews reader, and when he noticed that there was an article about an amputee competing in an ass-kicking contest, he decided to cut his leg and fingers except for the middle one. He wanted to be featured on UnNews
Unfortunately this man did not know the policies of UnNews and that it gives misinformation, and the man was not featured. The man then commited suicide by cutting of his arms and leg, but failed, so he was in a hospital and a quadriplegic.
The man died today after bleeding to death. He died before this article was written.