UnNews:Jesus named to arbitrate Ukraine crisis

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14 February 2022

The Kremlin meeting chaired by Jesus featured social distancing to protect against the Coronavirus.

MOSCOW, Russia -- A Last Supper attempt to avert war in the Ukraine depends on Jesus Christ coming up with a solution.

The Son of God acted as a referee between President Vladimir Putin of Russia and French President Emmanuel Macron. At their discussion in the Kremlin, both sides said that there was "a lot of mutual distrust" but hoped Jesus could work a miracle and avoid a war in Europe.

"I told both sides to come to an agreement," said the Prince of Peace after the long meeting. "I told them that if they didn't come to a resolution, I would come down from Heaven and sort things out. And I can do an apocalypse better than any earthly power!"

Putin said the fate of the Ukraine is all about Russian security, whilst Macron, representing the NATO view, said Moscow was acting "paranoid" and had kept mentioning wars in the past, such as the time Napoleon burnt Moscow to keep warm in 1812.

U.S. President Joe Biden favoured the summit meeting, warning Ukraine that Russian tanks could roll within 48 hours and should be the world's focus — and poll-driven Democrat state governors abandoning his Coronavirus mandates should not be. Biden, a devout Catholic despite the abortion thing, called for Christ to arbitrate and expressed optimism. "This is a trial of strength," he said. "Putin will fold like a cheap suit made in China. Russia is a paper bear. No joke!" The last President to court nuclear Holocaust was John F. Kennedy in 1962, and he managed to avoid it. However, not everyone shares Biden's optimism, nor is betting large sums on his chances of staying awake.