UnNews:D.C. in chaos as Barack Obama buys donuts from local Dunkin Donuts

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard UnNews Monday, June 17, 2024, 00:35:59 (UTC)

D.C. in chaos as Barack Obama buys donuts from local Dunkin Donuts UnNews Logo Potato.png

14 February 2008

Washington D.C., USA--In a genius, unexpected campaign move, Barack Obama swept into D.C. yesterday before the Potomac Primary, and bought some donuts.

"The city really went wild," campaign manager, Jesus Christ, told UnNews.

Obama addressing fans at local Dunkin' Donuts

Indeed, thousands gathered as Obama stepped out of his limo, waving banners and screaming their support. Looking slightly disturbed, covering his children's ears to prevent them from going deaf, the young Illinois Senator tried to rouse the crowd.

"Please," he bellowed. "I'm just buying some donuts. That's ALL. Seriously, don't you people have something better to do?"

The crowd roared their approval.

Analysts have predicted that this move will drastically lower Hillary Clinton's viability. "You don't see the Clintons making genius moves like these," Larry King commented on his nightly television program.

The Clinton campaign responded with stunning speed, but their efficacy is in question.

"Senator Obama purchased munchkins rather than normal, middle-class donuts," they pointed out.

We caught up with Obama at the Dunkin' Donuts, but he screamed loudly and refused to comment.