UnNews:Beckham to move to Uncyc Rovers FC

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard UnNews Tuesday, June 18, 2024, 05:17:59 (UTC)

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11 January 2007

George Bush, Manager of Texas Rangers FC, reacts to the news at missing out on signing Beckham.

It has today been announced that former England football and Bloodbath international David Beckham will move to Sunday League side Uncyclopedia Rovers FC in a contract worth £28.54 (300 Euros 92 cents) and a meat and potato pie.

Outcast by his former club Real Madrid for neglecting boot shining duties, the news comes as no surprise to, well, anyone really. After being dropped from the England national side his fame has subsided and he hopes the move will boost his ailing career.

Beating off stiff competition from a number of clubs including Texas Rangers, the move is a major coup for Uncyc Rovers who are currently toiling at the bottom of the Euroipods fifth division. Beckham states the main reason for the move was Uncyc Rovers' high-profile backroom staff. Mr. O. Wilde, chairman of Uncyc FC was quoted on Sky Sports News as saying:

What happens when Beckham actually finds out we're going to be paying him in peanuts is anyone's guess. However we think it will be a long while before he realises, most likely five years after his contract here is up.

Until the move, which will take place in August, Beckham will stay in Spain sunbathing whilst Real Madrid pay him £100,000 (23 Euros) a week to his already massive pension fund. Uncyclopedia FC's hospitality chief stated:

We have a small two-room apartment in Tower Hamlets prepared for the move which Mr Beckham shall be renting during his stay at the club. Once we evict that squatter things should be ready.

Elsewhere, Real Madrid also offloaded their light heavyweight pugilist Ronaldo to Milton Keynes Dons today for a fee of a pack of Cadbury's chocolate buttons and an IOU for 20p.