UnNews:BBC: New Doctor Who May Be An Arab

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3 January 2009

Silence! I kill you!

Galifrey: In a move almost certain to cause consternation amongst fans, the BBC has today announced the new Doctor Who may be an Arab. A BBC spokesman said:

"Traditionally, the Doctor has always been played by a white, British male. However there is no logical reason why this must always be the case. So for example the new Doctor could be either male or female, and of any ethnicity: black, white, asian, or even an Arab."

Bookmakers William Hill have now announced their new odds on who is likely to succeed David Tennant as the new occupant of the Tardis.

Ahmed The Dead Terrorist[edit]

Odds: Evens favourite.

Former Al Qaeda operative Ahmed is a former suicide bomber who retired on account of being successful. Outgoing executive producer Russell T Davies said: I told Ahmed that if he took the role, his acting career would explode! He took askance at that I'm afraid."

John Sergeant[edit]

Odds: 2-1

John Sergeant is a BBC political correspondent and television presenter. His name has been circulated amongst fan-sites after he walked out of the BBC's Strictly Come Dancing last year. In a move that is certain to delight fans, Kristina Rihannoff, his former dance partner, is also being tipped to be his new companion. Sergeant himself said: "Well, the Doctor's companions are routinely subjected to abuse, torture, and being knocked around by evil hideous monstrosities. Which pretty much sums up my dancing with Kristina."

Cardinal Ximmenez[edit]

Odds: 1,000,000 to 1

Cardinal Ximmenez of the Spanish Inquisition is according to bookies the rank outsider. Because no-one was expecting him.

Sarah Palin[edit]

The New Doctor about to go into battle against the Daleks.

Odds: 75 to 1

Former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has been mooted as a contender. After all, now that she won't be vice-president she is out of a job with nothing to do except govern Alaska.

Other Possible Candidates[edit]

Definite Nots[edit]

David Morrissey, Sean Pertwee, Patrick Stewart, Philip Glenister, and James Nesbit have all been ruled out of contention for the role - on the grounds that giving it to an actual actor would be far too sensible.