UnNews:Annan on Blair: Shit fuck poo tits
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| Straight talk, from straight faces | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Tuesday, November 5, 2024, 08:20:59 (UTC) |
| Annan on Blair: Shit fuck poo tits | 
|
7 September 2006
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PENIS, New York -- Today Kofi Annan, Secretary-General of the UNO, announced his irritation at the continuing failure of governments worldwide to ensure world peace in characteristicaly blunt terms. "Shit fuck poo tits," he is reported to have said to world leaders at a meeting this morning, "Fucking cocksucking motherfucking bloody bastard cunts. Does anybody even give a fucking shit? You don't, do you. Not one of you cocksucking titwanking motherfuckers gives a shit. You thinks it's goddam big news when some bloody conniving little shite who used to be Prime Minister of Italy gets picked up for corruption in Spain. You bloody twats, everyone who's anyone gets picked up for corruption in Spain. What the bloody hell do you think you're playing at, you stinking little shits? Are you such inbred little liberal Godforsaken codheads that you call it news when a bunch of UK ministers' whores sign some kind of petition? Huh?"
"Let me fucking tell you something. Do you little bloody assholes think your jobs are hard? Huh? Yeah? Ooh, look at me, I can run a whole fucking country with only a few hundred thousand highly trained bureaucrats to fucking help me, you stupid cunt-sucking horse-sodomizing leprechaun-wankers! Comprende? Look at me. Fucking look at me! Israel lifted its blockade on Lebanon today. Do you know how difficult that was to bloody acheive? Today! And already 50 children have been shot in Gaza! Is this a face which cares about your pissy little problems? Twats! I thought we were going in the right direction, but no! Bloody hell! Sudan? Don't give me fucking Sudan! Twats! Why don't some of you useless underemployed bastards do something useful for a change, go and put LSD in the bloody bidet at the bloody fucking South African Health Ministry! Useless racoon-sucking tree-hugging eco-friendly turd-lickers!"
In an unrelated development, a historic agreement between Iran and the USA announces the two nations' joint commitment to war with "absolutely everybody and anybody who looks at me funny." However, worries have been expressed about the consequences of a dispute over spelling.
Sources[edit]
- "Blair to quit?". BBC, Setpember 07, 2006
- "Crisis in Sudan". BBC, Setpember 07, 2006
- "Lebanon blockade lifted". BBC, Setpember 07, 2006