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“The systembolag has a variety of quality fluids.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Systembolaget

“Hick... I'm so drunk right now...”

~ The average Swede on Systembolaget


The Swedish Systembolaget is the main source of wastedness for the Swedish people, since they sell an unhealthy heap of homemade moonshine they put in fancy bottles and given hard-to-pronounce names, such as Chatteu de la Schizo. The guy (actually, it's a chick) who runs the whole thing is married to Göran Persson and parties for 14 million SEK, while the rest of the population - who live in poverty - watch, and on occasion, clap their hands.


Started in the early rockin' seventies, Systembolaget, or Systemet as the drunks lovingly call it, it was originally an outlet for the various legal drugs of the day - that is, bottles of glue and LSD stickers. The institution was made into a slush fund on the dawn of the new age, January 1, 1980, when discos had been nearly conquered and a new age of evil lay ahead.

Evil a'brewing[edit]

Systembolaget is quite possibly Göran Persson's private slush fund, and several photos where taken of Göran walking out of an expensive boutique carrying large quantities of expensive warez, just after the population had purchased record amounts of homebrew from Systemet. Nothing here can be proven unless the evidence, a large pink hippo called Orvar, can be found, but until then the rocking rocks on, man.

End of Systembolaget[edit]

Systembolaget has to cease its reign, at least in the Skane town of Lund in 2009. Eager to make the others live their passion, the alumni from Greenhouse created a controversial but soon successful taxi company linking Lund with the alcohol shops on the German border. Especially designed for student accommodation and Erasmus student gatherings, it enabled everyone to buy whisky, vodka and sambucca.

Orders are to be send with the payment, including the oil fees (7€ per person) to :

Alcohol Project AB


Stora Raby byavag 88

224 78 Lund

See also[edit]