Schoolcruft
“THIS SCHOOL IS GHEY!!!! I WANT TO FUCK ALL THEIR WEEABOOS FOR TEH LULZ”
“Well, This is for WORLD DOMINATION!”
“In soviet Russia, T-Chan huffs YOU!!”
“I'm Gonna Fucking bury that high school!”
“Geroge bush doesen't care about.....AHHHHHH!!!!!!”
North Hampington high school Is a School ran by GLaDOS and Hatsune Miku In order to oliberate all Chinese people, Americans, and Chuck Norris. The school is ridden with Weeaboos and self-proclaimed ninja-pirates which try hard to pwn the American bastards in the school. The school's current principal is Wikipe-tan and she wants to huff all the Americans and Chinese in the school in order to transform into jimbo wales, causing the Americans and Chinese students to team up and overthrow the dominant weeaboo forces who were trying to ruin the school's reputation as an English university that nobody cares.
History[edit]
NorthHampington high school is built by Emperor hirohito at the year -1337 when he was huffing a kitten. He was telling the people of Japan that he is about to build a high school in NorthHampington in order to start World War III by conquering Europe. The people first hated him when they were like "EUROS SUX LOL THEY GOT PWNT BY HITLER", but The Crappy government of NorthHampington just finished huffing kittens and he was like "I'll let you build a high school here cuz i'm ghey". Soon after 2 years the High school is complete and it attracted American and Chinese "scum" to huff free kittens and have masturbate with their imaginary hentai shit as the school gives out free kittens and hentai. However, the school will send "Scum Ethnics" to a gas chamber where they will get pwnt. This has caused the American and Chinese students to combine forces in order to defend themselves from tyranny. However, Those who support the Japanese in the school are spared, but they will be viewed as weeaboos who suck the dick of the land of the rising sun.
In 2002 the school had bought the genetic life form and disk operating system, or GLaDOS, Which is a maniacal kitten huffer and a killing machine which likes to send her vocaloids to gang bang the "Scum Ethenics" for teh lulz. She is also armed with a missile and an iPenis to rape anybody who dares to pwn her. It is suggested the great war of NorthHampington high school will start 00000000000.0000001 seconds later.
School Bureaucracy[edit]
NorthHampington high school is run by a principal, or "King" which must be of Japanese accent. These are the historical principals of NorthHampington achool;
- General tojo
- Quote
- Master chief
- Hatsune Miku
- Yugi Motou
- Godzilla
- T-Chan
- Wikipe-tan (Current)
T-Chan is the most vicious of all the principals, as she instead of sending Chinese and Americans to the Gas chamber she likes to have sex with them and huff them in order to steal their libido. These are all the notable people she huffed;
- Mario
- Weegee
- You
- Anti-Grue
- 2 french woman
- Chuck Norris (failed to huff due to awesomeness)
- Mike Tyson
- Willy on Wheels
- Jimbo Wales
- Zombie Jesus
- Pennywise the Dancing Clown
- 66666 Dogs
- 555555554436636 Kittens
The school's security department is consisted of Ninja Pirates and NorthHampington Ninjas, which worship Several hentai models.They are trained by George W. Bush (Not to be confused with the American president) in order to catch evildoers and scum ethnics, and they can run in a speed of 99999999999 km/s and are invisible. When you see them, it's too late because they will A splode your head and send you to their concentration camp. That is, unless you give them a kitten before they catch you, or you shoot them with your laser gun, which can be bought for 1 euro via the American-Chinese gang department store. up to 2006 they have captured 750984756980767868967098670740986 Americans and Chinese, and 57857429075094752340985 are dead. Note that they like to capture scum ethnics at recess, so most Americans and Chinese like to stay in the basements at that time.
Magical creatures[edit]
The magical creatures of the school include "yondis", which are a homosexual kind of human that has been inserted with too much Japanese DNA that their penis have been reduced to vaginas and they grow massive boobs, which proves their faggotry and gayness. the worst thing is, they like to have sex with you, and they are everywhere. Anyone who see them for -0000.1 seconds will feel a stream of gayness that flows through them. And they are still male.
Occasionally you will see a drawing of Chuck Norris. Watch out, these drawings have a magical effect that will turn you into Chuck Norris. Then the weeaboos will try to attack you when they see you. just roundhouse kick them until they all got pwnt by your 1337 powers. beware, it only lasts for 1 day.
The swans in the lake can shoop da whoop. your best bet is to fuck off before they charge their laz0r. They also tend to huff kittens who wander near them.
2010 Brony attacks[edit]
In 2010 a disease called My Little Pony has spread all over the school. Anybody who gets infected will turn into bronies which have a shriveled penis and no pubic hair. If you see a man without pubic hair, run away from the room in less than 2 seconds or you will be infected by his gayness. Common brony symptoms include masturbating to pony Rule 34 , a urge to hug anybody, and saying "friendship is magic". The victim will be prone to wear rainbow coloured hair as well. (RAINBOW DASH!)
GLaDOS[edit]
Despite that the principal runs the school, The GLaDOS has ultimate authority over the school. she is in an secret basement deep in the earth's surface, and she is used to destroy all the scum ethnics who dare go against the school. She has the following abilities;
- A iPenis that rapes American and Chinese students
- Automatic kitten spawning; She is the source of all the kittens running in the school.
- Eye beams
- Ability to summon baby grues from her anus to do her bidding
- Sentry turrets all over the school
- AAAAAAAA!
- Ultimate control over all weeaboo students
- Summon 300 snakes on a plane
- Turn people into bronies and gays
- Perfect mind control over all weeaboos in the school.
- Summon Vocaloids
She however, does require 10 kittens, 2 Chinese and 3 Americans a week in order to steal their mojo according to UnNews, which might be the reason that the school will have at least 5 students disappearing without reason in a week.
See also[edit]
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