Rule 34

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Rule 34 is one of the rules of the Internet, the only one that applies to the real world, and the only one that actually exists. This rule was first enforced by the 1337 h4x0rs of the Usenet era, and has been etched tight into all denziens of the Internet. Those who fail to accept this law should never and ever wander the nets, as this rule is enforced into every search that one makes with Google, Every Franchise that the world knows, and maybe everything that exists. Failure to accept the rule will probably make one insane, and utterly guarantees one's banishment of the internet.


If it exists, there IS porn of it. No exceptions.

This statement in spread means "If it exists in the matter of franchises, in the real world or if mankind knows about this thing, there will be pictures of it having sex." This includes Ponies, Pokemon, Transformers, Hitler, Coke cans, Powerpuff girls and basically anything that has ever put into existence. Nothing will be spared from the sheer wrath of the internet raping your childhood. Even the 404 Girl of 4Chan, which is usually considered pure and a rivaling force, is not spared of the rule. There is STILL hentai of it. Just don't show it to the /b/tards.


The rule came from the primitive usenet period where the inhabitants of the internet are on the search for more porn. At that time there was only one kind of porn, human porn, which was quite boring, and the inhabitants had fed up using the primitive process of using 24 hours of time to download their porn. This engineered their search for exotic porn, but at that time exotic porn wasn't the best bet out there as it is difficult to find. Soon the king of the internet designed a rule for the internet, and it was Rule 34. At first many people hated it so much that the internet almost collapsed, but they saw Japan starting to draw exotic hentai. Not only there are humans with better proportions than the porn stars that they watched; they even found the beauty of porn that once never existed, such as an unknown penis having sex with a pokemon; one thing that the usenetfags never saw. This has engineered people to draw porn themselves.


When the Rule was enforced to solve the first porn crisis it was quite unwelcome. Many citizens started to protest in usenet and started spamming the boards with the words "da world don't welcome bad porn!" and "Rebellious unfeasible loser's extravaganza 34! GO AWAY!". The spamming lasted 80 pages and over 500 users were killed by the admins. This almost caused the downfall of the usenet, until Japanese ambassadors who know about this conflict appeared and gave the citizens a picture of hentai and their (The internet citizens) cock was like the hulk on cocaine. Then the citizens of the net agreed to cease war, and since this rule has been implemented firmly into the brains of every denzien of the internet since.

Even Pixel's creation is not spared from the sheer wrath of the 34th rule of the internet.

And as about long-lasting Impact, The first and most obvious thing is nothing in a franchise can stay pure for more than one day. Once a franchise produces a new character, after 5 minutes to 1 day porn of it will appear in google's shithole known as safe search off. If the character is a female, then porn will appear even when safe search is on and if the keywords "Hentai" or "porn" is entered porn might even appear in strict safe search because the sheer power of rule 34 goes through all filters. The second thing is all your childhood dreams are ruined and raped by the internet. This is due to rule 34 artists are most likely Pedophiles and dog-rapers, which might explain their tendency to draw porn of cartoons that you watched in your childhood. Just search "Flintstones Porn" or "pokemon Hentai" and you know the big idea. Most of them also happen to be japanese, because their fetish tendencies are the most insane.

As a form of weaponry[edit]

Gardevoir was amazed by the sheer number of rule 34 of herself.

The rule is also a form of anti-fandom weaponry, And is especially excellent against fanbase of non-anime shows like Ben 10 and My Little Pony, as the fandom of these shows are mostly consisted of 12 year old virgins, which try to keep their internet virginity forever, and is impossible and a proof that they lose the game. In the case of My Little Pony, It was used by anti-bronies as a form of weaponry, and had used it to great success. This may be because of the fact that bronies are half men half women, and they feel sexually harassed of seeing their goddesses being Rule34'd. Rule 34, however, won't work against anything that is considered an anime.

See also[edit]