Ken Foree's Birthday
“This is my third favorite holiday.”
“When there's no more room under the Christmas tree, Ken Foree will have a birthday.”
“Goddamn son of a bitch! Fuckin' kids! They think I have anything better to do than to clean up this shit??!!”
Ken Foree's Birthday is a national holiday in celebration of Ken Foree. This holiday falls on February 29, which is also the Dawn of the Dead and Kenan and Kel actor's birthday. It was deemed an official holiday by longtime Foree fan Bill Clinton on February 29, 2000.
History of Ken Foree's Birthday[edit]
Much like other birthday-related holidays as Martin Luther King Day, Columbus Day, Lincoln's Birthday, and Christmas, somebody had to be born. When Professor Irving Von Baerthdae came up with the original concept for Ken Foree's Birthday back in June 1947, he decided that his wife should give birth to a child and name him Ken Foree. Ken came into this world on February 29, 1948, which is unfortunate since the date only occurs every four years.
Years that Ken Foree's Birthday can fall on[edit]
Because Ken Foree's Birthday only occurs every four years, it can only be celebrated on February 29 during leap years. However, you can still celebrate on February 28 if the next day is March 1. Or you could be fashionably late and celebrate on March 1 if you wish. The choice is yours, not mine. These are the leap years it can be celebrated if you choose to celebrate Ken Foree's Birthday on the actual day:
| 2000 | 2004 | 2008 | 2012 | 2016 | 2020 | 2024 | 2028 | 2032 | 2036 | The Future |
I hope that gives you a good idea of when to celebrate this joyous holiday.
How to celebrate[edit]
To celebrate Ken Foree's Birthday, you must wake up at 8:00 in the morning with your radio alarm clock set to a talk radio station that will inform you of the latest zombie attacks in your local area. As an alternative, you can sleep in if you didn't get a good night's sleep. But whatever you do, do not fall asleep at work, if you don't work at a school or for the government.
Next, you must watch an hour of television; most networks will be airing George Romero zombie movies and Ken Foree movies due to the very high importance of this holiday. Nickelodeon's The N channel will be showing a 24-hour marathon of Kenan and Kel. Schools and government businesses will be closed for the day, so you can celebrate with the entire family.
Activities[edit]
Among the activities you can do:
- Play a nice, fun game of Pull the Trigger on the Zombie
- Punish Kenan
- Use Joe Grizzley quotes from Halloween (2007)
- Watch Dawn of the Dead (original or remake)
- Watch House of 1,000 Corpses
- Watch The Devil's Rejects
- Watch Halloween (2007)
- Watch Kenan and Kel
- Eat cake and ice cream, like most birthdays
- Dress up like Ken Foree, steal his presents, open them, wrap them back up, and give them back to him before he even knows you took them (Warning: Could land you in jail!)
Criticisms of Ken Foree's Birthday[edit]
Unlike most holidays, Ken Foree's Birthday has been highly criticized by non-Foree fans and fundamentalist Christians because they feel that Ken Foree is not notable or significant enough to have a holiday in his honor, despite being a kickass actor. Finally, in 2004, when legendary zombie movie director George A. Romero slipped Billy Graham, Jerry Falwell, and Mitt Romney copies of Dawn of the Dead and Kenan and Kel, all was forgiven and Ken Foree's Birthday became a widely accepted holiday.