Globo
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This article is of Brazilian style and hates Argentina, it may talk about things like soccer, samba, bananas or Portuguese jokes. You can talk to its authors by searching for them on the Orkut website or in a Tibia server. Be careful, because this content is controlled by the evil television channel Globo. The Squid president welcomes you for a fantastic adventure in a true Brazilian favela while he dances like a crab. |
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Globo (or Globe in English) is a Brazilian evil empire disguised as a quasi-state television network. Its aim is to destroy the government and alienating the poor monkeys of a Third World country. According to Globo, China, Cuba, the United States and Israel are the best places in the world. That is why it is so busy slandering our beautiful politicians and creating a Nazi nationalist communist dictatorship that kills gays, whites, poor blacks from voodoo and wicked Christians.
The company that owns Globo which is officially called 'Rede Globo' (Globe Network) has many fingers and tentacles in many pies. It reaches 99.9% of all Brazilians. The .1% who don't watch it think Globo is a mind altering drug that is there to corrupt and take their children away.
Since it is a privately owned television station, Globo is there to make money. Its output covers stories (or television drama), comedy (don't laugh), children's programmes (cartoons) and news about locking up previous Brazilian presidents.
Stories[edit]
Every Globo soap opera has a simple plot based on:
- Poor suffering prejudice for rich
- Blacks being beaten by rich
- Indigenous suffering prejudice for not being rich
- Rich people suffering prejudice for being rich
- White rich killers and deadbeats
- Gay trying to kiss a guy until he has a gay kiss (WoW!)
- Indigenous magic
- Prejudiced christians
- Poor that rich people tip
- The rich woman is arrested, killed or flees to Argentina
- At the end of the telenovela all women get pregnant and there is a party with a possible continuation of the story as a featured movie. Globo will then be able to add a lot of jokes about SEX!!
Comedy[edit]
- Rich saying that being poor is bad
- Jokes with penis and ass (exemple: a man beats his testicles on something or a woman tries to rape a man)
- Social shit criticism (Did you know that the poor have no money?? Did you know that corrupt politicians are corrupt?? Did you know that gays fuck men??)
- Badly made fantasies
Not so Childish Children's programs[edit]
- Put people in ugly fantasies to talk like a retard with a penis in their mouth
- Unfamiliar American cartoons that are bought for five cents and a Big Mac and have seen success in Brazil due to the monopoly of TV programming
- Bankrupt whores or "beautiful girls" or children of actors to present tv shows.
- Shitty moral lessons with things like "killing people is bad"
News[edit]
Globo is a left-wing Fox News with its own Fake news. If someone makes a report that they have been abducted by aliens who voted for some right-wing politician to kill gays Globo will report this as truth. Otherwise the news output of Globo covers cases of corruption, murders, illnesses and other misfortunes every 5 minutes. That's if you don't count the press conferences on car crashes in the Bermuda Triangle.