Church of Uncyclopedia
“In Soviet Russia, The Church of Uncyclopedia still saves YOU!!!”
The Church of Uncyclopedia, also known as the Unglican Church, is the officially established Chrisophiac Church of Uncyclopedia, and acts as the 'mother' and senior branch of the worldwide Unglican Communion, as well as a founding member of the Wikia Communion. In the United States it is sometimes referred to a the Fauxpiscopal Church.
Warning: taking the Church of Uncyclopedia (or any church, even the Church of Emacs) seriously may be hazardous to your health.
Membership and Clergy[edit]
Because the church is the established church of Uncyclopedia, any member of Uncyclopedia may automagically consider him or herself a member of the church by birth. In practice the faithful undergo baptism, usually as a n00b, and later make a choice to join the church and are confirmed before a bishop. Active members of the church may wish to place {{Unglican|member}} on their userpage.
Ordinary members[edit]
The lowest level are monks and nuns, ordinary members of the church who have pledged themselves to a monastic lifestyle or lead useful lives as lay Unglicans. They often dedicate themselves to simple tasks such as categorization or vandal patrolling. Those who complete theological training and demonstrate writing skill may move up in the church hierarchy, but most monks and nuns are content to live a quiet life of devotion. To become a monk or nun, a user must simply make a monastic vow and add {{Unglican|Monk}} or {{Unglican|Nun}} to his or her userpage. Such users may also refer to themselves as "Brother" or "Sister" in their signatures and include the church compass rose (
) in their sigs.
Priests are the first of the upper ranking clergy member, and by convention are appointed by Oscar Wilde, although in practice they are typically chosen by an appointing council or senior Diocesan Bishop in Privy Council and then appointed by the queen upon such a recommendation. Priests may hold the rank of Vicar, Rector or Canon, and are usually assigned to a particular congregation. A priest may take the title of Reverend (or Rev.) in his or her signature and may use the church compass rose for ornamentation. The text {{Unglican|Priest}} is used to indicate this rank on a priest's userpage. Clergy appointed to this office who are admins, or who later become admins, become Archdeacons, and are referred to as "Venerable" (Ven.) rather than "Reverend."
The next highest-ranking clergy are Dean and Provost, ranks generally conferred upon a clergy member by the Parliament through the awards UotM and Feather in Cap, respectively. Clergy of these ranks may style themselves as "Very Reverend" (Very Rev. or V. Rev.) and like all clergy they may use the church compass rose.
Holding much of the power in the church are the bishops, each of whom administer their own dioceses. Bishops are those clergy who have been elevated through either an award of WotM or UotY. Bishops are referred to as the Right Reverend (Rt. Rev.). Bishops who are also system administrators are also made members of the Privy Council and take the additional title of Right Honorable (Rt. Hon.) as well.
The top of the Unglican hierarchy is the Archbishop of Wildebury, who is appointed directly by Oscar Wilde and may be addressed as "the Most Rev. and Rt Hon. The Lord Archbishop of Wildebury."
Note that members of the Unglican clergy who are also members of the Order of Uncyclopedia, which all high-ranking are, may not refer to themselves as Sir or Dame even when their rank accords such a privilege. They may, however, use the Order's standard post-nomials.
Governance and Administration[edit]
The Uncyclopedian monarch (at present, Oscar Wilde), has the constitutional title of "Supreme Governor of the Church of England".
In practice, however, the administrative leadership of the church falls to the Archbishop of Wildebury. The worldwide Unglican Communion, made up of independent national or regional churches, recognizes the Archbishop of Wildebury as a kind of 'symbolic' leader. The Most Rev. and Rt Hon. Chronarion has served as Archbishop of Wildebury since 2005.
The Church of Uncyclopedia has a legislative body, however, fundamental legislation still has to pass through the Uncyclopedia Parliament. The church has its own judicial branch, known as the Ecclesiastical courts, which likewise form a part of the Uncyclopedian court system, but are largely moribund, since the provisions for the enforcement of ecclesiastical rulings were mostly removed a century ago by various Privy Council decisions.
Doctrine[edit]
Basic Doctrine[edit]
The Uncyclopedian Cult Church believes in a simple doctrine (only to distinguish themselves from other religions)
- Sophia is the one true God.
- ???
- Oscar Wilde is her
profitprophet! - Oscar Wilde came and died for our sins.
- Sophia communicates to us through the unHoly Spirit.
- The Book of Wilde is the holy text, written by Oscar Wilde through the unHoly Spirit.
Heaven[edit]
When we die, those who believe in Oscar Wilde shall receive eternal life. This includes:
- Free beer
- Partying forever
- 100 virgins (they wont even ask "You're sticking THAT THERE ?!?")
- Sniping people on Earth
- Laughing at the condemned souls of the non-believers.
- Unlimited Article Huffing
Creation[edit]
IN THE BEGINNING...
Oscar Wilde ejaculated into the primordial ooze....
Are you happy now that you know?!?
History[edit]
The Church of Uncyclopedia considers itself to stand both in a reformed tradition and in a catholic (but not Roman Catholic, or Cat-a-holic) church tradition: Reformed insofar as many of the principles of the Reformation have influenced it, and insofar as it does not accept Papal authority; Catholic, in that it views itself as the 'unbroken continuation of the early apostolic and later medieval' "universal church", rather than as a 'new formation'. In its practices the Church of Uncyclopedia is mixed: in some of its congregations worship remains closer to Roman Catholicism than most Protestant Churches, but in others it is difficult to distinguish between the Unglican forms in use and the uses of other Evangelical bodies. It holds many relatively conservative theological beliefs, its liturgical form of worship is traditional, and its organization embodies a belief in the appropriateness of the historical episcopal hierarchy of archbishops, bishops, and dioceses.
The Church of Uncyclopedia became a separate entity during the reign of Henry VIII who, following the advice of Jonathan Swift, wanted to eat Irish babies worship Sophia. The Pope, however, would not grant Henry the authority to allow such a practice and henry responded by compiling a manuscript from ancient sources proving in law that spiritual supremacy rested with the head sysadmin, and demonstrating the illegality of Papal authority. Henry forced the Catholic clergy in England to pay restitution for their illegal authority in order to receive a lifting of their ban, and a year later in the Act of Submission of the Clergy the clergy accepted Henry as sole protector and supreme head, surrendered their legislative independence and renounced all appeals to the authority of Rome, essentially removing Papal authority and granting it to the Archbishop of Wildebury, who granted Henry the right to eat babies worship Sophia.
Related Churches[edit]
The Church of Uncyclopedia is the mother Church for a number of national Unglican churches in several of the Wikicities, including the Church of Nonsensopedia, the Nonciclopedian Church and Temple Bet Eincyclopedia. Each of these churches is independent, but sees the Uncyclopedian Church as its spiritual leader. The church is also in communion with the Church of the SubGenius and the Pastafarians. The church is also previously in communion with the Church of the Holy Cows until the latter's separation with the Unglican communion to become an independent church.
See also[edit]
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This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia:Church of England. |