Brock

Ash walks in on Brock losing his virginity.

“I was removed from the show for a whole season because my small eyes beget an Asian stereotype.”

~ Brock

Brock is a main character on the hit reality show Pokémon, on simply because the cast needed a straight male in the show. Brock is also very sexist. Brock's Japanese name is Takashi, which English-speakers would hear as "take a shit." He is named Brock in the dubed edition, which they would not. Brock is a student at Augustana College with a big douche-bag roommate. Brock also enjoys rapping rock Pokémon.

Biography

Brock engaged in a Pokeorgy, just before Misty left. Does Brock regret it? Hell no!

Brock was born on October 14, 1989 to Brock's Momma and Cyclops. They decided to name their oldest Betty-Jean Barbara. But they found out Brock was a boy on Brock's birthday, causing them to change his name. This also explained several problems with Brock's life, such as his dislike of dresses.

Brock in one of his scenes

Brock began his acting career when he was 15, at the behest of his Amestrian uncle Vato Falman. At the time, his momma and daddy were out while he watched his siblings, wearing an apron. He was eager to join the hit show Pokémon.

Legend has it, that when Brock opens his eyes like his father he can shoot lasers which burn into your soul. Brock has often used these to help tan Misty's bikini lines.

Brock is a weird nut that's obsessed with girls (especially Nurse Joy) that are not traveling with him. You see, Dawn has a Mamoswine that could easily mush him into the ground if he ever tried that " Chick Get" thing on her.

Brock on drugs. He also does this when he sees Flannery

Pokemon Years

Brock in season five, with no more cool Pokemon of his own. They are all either Ash's or May's. How the hell did May catch any of these?!? Especially the one on the far right with the glasses.

In 4 out of 5 episodes, Brock hits on someone, and is rejected hilariously, as part of the show. He is completely unattractive, and can cook. Brock is rather unfortunate, and needs to read up on some jokes or something.

Brock also appears to be a bit too attracted to some of the female characters...to the point where it's been bad for his well-being. How about going to kick the ass of Flannery's boyfriend and getting the shit beat out of him by the boyfriend's buddy?

Brock was known to spoon anything and everything.

Appearance

In Brock's whole life he has worn a total of three outfits. He changes clothes every couple of hundred episodes. Brock's nationality and background is unclear, even after studying his unusual eyes. They might not be eyes at all; between those eye slits is the gate to the nether world, where the great lord Kutulu awaits his resurrection.

Being a Pokemon Himself

In the anime, there are several subtle hints about Brock's true nature as a Pokemon. For example, in season 1, Brock spends more screen time eating Pokemon food than human food.

He has also been seen using Pokemon attacks, including Attract and Charm (always fails), Foresight (by issuing advice), Helping Hand, Sing, Rest, Sleep Talk, Leer, Encore, Dive, Astonish, Calm Mind, Defense Curl (assuming the fetal position, usually after rejection), Dig, Flatter, Glare, Scary Face, Substitute (Tracey), and Stockpile (his backpack is actually an exterior organic sac used for storage). The great number of Pokemon attacks at his disposal implies that Brock is at a very high level.

Brock is the only Pokemon that apparently grows, as he is much smaller in flashbacks, unless he was a baby Pokemon at the time. Most characters, with the exception of Ash's mother and Mr. Mime, are unaware of his true nature, or simply don't care.

Ramifications of Being a Pokemon

Brock has many advantages and disadvantages to being a Pokemon whilst posing as a human. For example, Brock repeatedly attempts to have interspecies relationships with humans. These are always doomed to fail, as Brock's Attract and Charm are commonly known to be more useless than Splash. On the other hand, Brocks are able to mate with virtually any other female Pokemon, resulting in his interest in becoming a 'Pokemon breeder.' Like all other Pokemon, Brock has no need to eat or excrete waste. In fact, he is rarely seen doing the former, and never seen doing the latter. This serves as a distinct advantage, as he is able to stand in the exact same spot in his gym indefinitely, waiting for a trainer to challenge him. Being a Pokemon himself, Brock finds it difficult to command his brothers and sisters to battle; as a result, he rarely battles.

Death

On June 20, 2009, Professor Oak shot Brock in the stomach over the gym badge he withheld since has no strong pokemons, and even with decent pokemons, he was inevitably doomed to fail against Brock's rock hard pokemons. Brock bled to death on a white comic panel floor, complaining of how 'cold' it was becoming. One of his little brothers, named Brock as well, replaced him in the Diamond & Pearl series. He still never came any closer to obtaining any poon. Recently, Brock has been kicked off the show. He was replaced by Cilan, the Pokemon Gym Leader with the hard-to-pronounce name. Like Brock, he likes to use his metrosexual gifts to cook food.

See also

• Misty
• Ash
• Pokemon (Show)
• Poke-porn