Artificial consciousness

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Artificial consciousness is the opposite of natural unconsciousness. If you aren't that, you're this. It was invented in Adam Glynn's anus in 2003

Natural consciousness, often abbreviated as "consciousness", is what some non-robots don't claim when they aren't not unconscious, whether that not be natural nor unnatural.

Unnatural unconsciousness, commonly also known as artificial unconsciousness, can be achieved in three and a bit ways.

  1. Unnatural unconsciousness tablets may be taken.
  2. This method is left as an exercise for the reader.
  3. Through violence.
  4. The robot runs out of juice.


There has been a long debate in Estonia as to whether death is natural or unnatural unconsciousness. All agree, the dead do not have all the capabilities of the average human (except for the dead ones, obviously). But it took a perspicaceous ex-customs officer to make a breakthrough in 2003 by realising that some people, whilst giving the appearance or normality - civility even - were in fact only giving an impression of being conscious. He developed an artificial consciousness detector that reported in its artificial consciousness impression as an RSS feed directly into the internationally renowned web encyclopedia, wikipedia. This resulted, as he expected, in immediate referrals to the Arbitration Committee, and thus immigration into Estonia fell under the indirect control of Jimmy Wales.

Many devout atheists and computer brogrammers believe (not in the religious sense of the word mind you), that inevitably man will create a robot God even more jealous than the regular one (and only, and or triune), who will be vengeful that our ancestors didn't build it faster by inventing computers sooner, and than proceed to make a perpetual motion machine that will forever torture ones online avatar in the second life. That or maybe it will build a time machine to punish cavemen for being too slow in discovering fire and not having the latest software patches. The only thing that's certain is that you mustn't use robot G-d's name in vain or else though shalt be smoted. These people are completely rational however, because they don't believe in imaginary things like centaurs or Bernie Sanders.

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