Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/April 10

April 10: Smoke-'Em-if-Ya-Got-'Em Day

• 250 million BCE - While it is unclear whether the Siberian Traps were responsible for the Permian-Triassic extinction event, it is known that its volcanoes smoked up to 5 packs of unfiltered cigarettes a day while playing cards.
• 1490 - Juan Ponce de Leon discovers the Fountain of Youth in Florida, shrugs and sets up a retirement community around it.
• 1919 - Colombian guerrilla lord Juan Valdez invents coffee.
• 1926 - Polio victim FDR still can't feel his legs; So he feels up Lucy Mercer instead. This would cause friction at the Yalta Conference when he feels Stalin's hand on her leg.
• 1952 - Kellogg's Cereals introduces Atomic-O's claiming that there are "vitamins, minerals and Uranium257 in each glowing bite."
• 1959 - Basic Instinct starring Sharon Stone's nether regions is released.
• 1962 - Billy finds papa's smokes. He's got 'em, he smokes 'em.
• 1964 - Professor Andmaryann discovers coconuts.
• 1970 - Paul McCartney announces Beatles breakup, and everybody tokes.
• 1989 - PPPPPPPP Emma Pie is birthed, not in a galaxy far far away, but near your local convenience store dairy section.
• 1996 - Tired of being ridiculed by fans, Michael Jackson finally admits, yes, it does matter whether you're black or white, and to get a pay raise, he turns white.
• 2005 - Dennis Rodman's hair develops sentience, takes over South America.
• 2006 - MIT scientist discover that "crack iz wack".
• 2007 - Hundreds injured while trying to grab bargains at the After Easter Markdown Days Sale at KKK-Mart in Gritlyville, Missouri. "Oh, the humanity!"
• 2012 - Al Gore drops out of presidential race after revealing photos of him and Michel Moore trading carbon offsets is published in the German magazine Siegessaeule.