u

Welcome to the Undictionary, an ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z *

U

Unalphabetical

The act of placing a word in a position in which it is in no way alphabetically related to words around it

U Bend

The approximately 360 degree bend in the wide ceramic pipe at the bottom of the toilet. Thought to be the birthplace of politicians.

U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals

The process by which appeals to the highest courts in the land go round and round in a never-ending process of appeal and counter-appeal until one party runs out of money, forgets why he/she is even there anymore, lands in No Orleans twenty feet underwater or dies of natural causes.

Uganda

A country exclusively populated by members of any number of families connected with the government that has been overthrown by a political coup, and who have heard good things about you and would therefore like you to share some of their fortune by allowing them to place it in your bank account to keep it safely hidden from the rebels, in return for which you will earn great interest. All you have to do is email them your credit card details. Then you're rich! Aren't they nice? (Hence Ugandan negotiations - a slightly more intimate version of the above.)

Ugly

See yourself and mirror.

UK BEAT

Probably the greatest musical outfit to grace the earths surface, comprised of two Mexican robots, Roberto Spectacular and Karlos Karisma. Well known for their number 13451 hit of the Lithuanian club charts, "Robot Dance", and their less succsesful follow up "F.U.K. BEAT". www.myspace.com/ukbeat

Ukelele

Small but powerful guitar used extensively by such greats as George Formby, Tiny Tim and Jimi Hendrix. The ukelele superceded the Gibson Fenderstratocaster as the lead instrument for all the biggest bands in the world including the Beatles, the Sex Pistols and Led Zepelin, and by 1990 had become the instrument of choice for any self-respecting, drug-addled rap musician. It's said that Snoop Doggy Big Bad Dog owns the solid-gold ukelele that once belonged to John Lennon.

Ultimate Joke

Since a joke is fundamentally a means of a joker to get the jokee to laugh, the most concise and effective way to achieve this end is to issue the imperative "Laugh!" Similar tecniques have been used in many totalitarian systems to produce desirable behaviour in the masses. This is sometimes referred to as reverse democracy.

Ultraintrauniformecularity

An extremely inflexible internal bureaucratic process.

Ultraintrauniformecularitite(s)

A person(s) who regular exhibits a tendency towards the extensive use of ultraintrauniformecularities or ultraintrauniformecularitious behaviours.

Umbongo

Rated in the top 8 most intoxicating substances known to the discoverse its regularly consumed by native pigmi's at brunch giving them a head rush akin to watching the lord of the dance on a disco mat.

Umpire

n. a mythical creature that sucks the blood of sportsmen.

Unaccuweather

n. The website with all of the inaccurate weather. Is used for people who aren't perfectionists. Pays you $5 per month for premium edition.

Unadulterated

Hasn't slept with other women without the knowledge of its spouse. Note that this does not rule out sleeping with other women with the knowledge of its spouse, sleeping with other men, generally whoring around with your spouse, having Hit That Thing That I Wouldn't Hit If It Was The Last Hittable Thing On Earth or having had sex with sheep.

Unbeliever

A believer that contributes to Uncyclopedia.

Uncanny

n. what you call your father's brother when he cross-dresses.

Uncanny: In view of the fact that 'canny' is a north British (Geordie and Scots) dialect word meaning 'smart' 'cunning', 'sharp', 'astute', 'careful', 'cautious', 'perspicatious' etc., it is quite obvious that 'uncanny' means 'stoopid'.

Uncool

(also see poser)

1 n. Someone who is 110% corn-ball. A person who tells so much BS that they start to believe themself. Someone who tries too hard to be/act cool.

Uncle

That creepy guy in the family no one talks about, who still lives in his mother's basement.

Uncle, from the Old English for "Unclean".

Unclematter

The so-called "grumpy husband" of "Aunty" or Antimatter, Unclematter is a pacifistic form of matter that hides away and doesn't do anything. However, when brought into contact with Antimatter it produces pure Cousinmatter.

Uncyclopaedia

Uncyclopaedia is a rather posh version of Uncyclopedia that doesn't exist because it sucks and was probably created by either Microsoft or the evil creators of Wikipedia so their parody could be more accurate. Besides which, the little ae thingy in the middle is a diphthong and nobody likes those.

Uncyclopaedia bot

A person who spends all of his time editing Uncyclopedia, which happens to be 75% of Uncyclopedians.

UNcyclopedia

A wiki-based encyclopedia about the United Nations, located at their New York headquarters. Not to be confused with Uncyclopedia.

Uncyclopediment

n. a temporary* defect which causes the inability to write anything on Uncyclopedia.

* there are said to be cases of permanent sufferers, but no proof has been corroborated inside Uncyclopedia.

Uncyclopidiot

1. n. Generally denotes one who has at least Thumbed-Nose the "rule" of being funny and not just stoop-it.(such as typing the word SUX!! under the names of celebrities who make you envious)
2. Someone who runs willy-nilly around Uncyclopedia without ever even noticing (or at least acknowledging) that a help tutorial even exists.(usually AnonIP...see also Cranio-rectal-inversion)
3. People who go out and get all house-faced at happy hour, and bust up all these rules at once.(Also known to delete NRV tags on sight)
4. ?

Undefinable

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Undictionary

1. You're an Asshole
   
2. Noun. A false dictionary used by Scrabble players to make up words and therefore win at Scrabble
3. THE KICKASS PIECE OF SHIT YOU ARE CURRENTLY READING! DEE DEE DEE!
4. HA HA! YOU SAID DICK!

Unending Loop

See Infinite Loop

Unfinished

A term used to denote....................

Unforgettable

An unforgettable thing is something that... hmm... wait, what was this all about?

Union

n. an atom that does not have an electric charge.

Unisex

You and I, sex on campus?

Unison

n. first male offspring.

University

The word "university" refers to perfect gathering places for murderers/future-murderers to hold meetings and discuss about the exiciting new murdering methods. Universities are also recognised as Hell™ by most young individuals in the human society (N.B. not including certain species such as the Geeks/Freaks).

That is, however, excluding the population from the Departments of Philosophy and any other departments that couldnt offer a pocket full of coins with your graduation certificate. These departments function rather like black sheep farms and are often critisized by the politicians.

Unoks

Uzbekistanian experimental fusion between the game Uno and the operating system Uniks. Only software to have passed the censoring in Uzbeskistan.

Unpossible

A task is so impossible, that only a registered Uncyclopedian could accomplish it.

Unosexual

Someone who always has sex in the same position, not as popularly believed as a person who only has sex with him/herself. [Slang] A person who will only play Uno while having sex.

Unspecific

Meaning, not belonging to any known species of earth origin. See George Bush.

Untensive

Simultaneously the antonym of both intensive and extensive, being neither intense, nor to any considerable extent.

Unwashed masses

Unwashed masses are the particles of matter found throughout the universe that all dirty things are made of.

Unweighting the front Foot

Raising your foot in order to achieve maximum elevation of the genitalia before urination.

Un Word

zjksdfgjkdfhgkljkjgn is not a word

Ununcyclopedia

See Wikipedia.

Upper

Above, higher than. In Chav talk this could also include "She's upper self", meaning she is higher than herself.

The top part of a shoe, as opposed to the sole or asole.

UPS

Unimaginative pile of s***. See UPS.

Urdu

Hindustani word for "message received and understood".

Urine

A salty, warm, tasty beverage, yellowish in color. Invented and founded by Bear Grylls.

URL

An internet abbreviation, used primarily for indicating that someone is L.

Urotsukidoji

The heartwarming tale of a young Deer, Urot, whose mother is shot and sodomized by angry rabbits. After this initial traumatic scene, Urot is rescued by hunters who look after him and feed him before mounting his head on the wall.

This family classic has been traumatising young children for generations the world over. Not to be confused with Bambi.

Uruguay

A shit version of Argentina

USA

United States of Amerika, land of the ignorant and fat.

US Army

An institution set up solely for the purpose of bullying foreign prisoners of war. Recruits are made up of those expelled from high school for beating up small children and those too loud and stupid to do anything else.

USS

n. United Soviet States, a union of citizens from land of ignorant and fat.

Uteri

plural for uterus. "wow look at her uteri" is that even possible???

Utopie

The perfect pie. Derived from utopian (meaning perfect) and of course pie, the utopie dates back creation, when it was made from the fruit in the Garden of Eden. Now what it's made with depends on what time of year it is and what planet you are on. The utopie is rarely made in modern times because the recipe is lost to mortals(well, humans, and animals can't cook).

Uwe Boll

The godfather of cinema.

Uxbridge

Publisher of the definitive English dictionary. The full version is available in 24 toilet paper-bound pamphlets.

Uzebeckistan ?

The C.I.A. has a team to track down the mysterious Rebecca Stan . She is believed to be living in Tiggerstan - land of the Bouncy Bouncy Tiggers.