Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/September 5

September 5: National Dance the Funky Chicken Day (Moldova)

• 1698 - In an effort to move his people away from archaic customs, Tsar Peter I of Russia imposes a tax on women and children with beards.
• 1836 - Sam Houston's version of the Funky Chicken is chosen as the official dance of the Republic of Texas.
• 1917 - Rufus Thomas is born, promptly dances his diaper off.
• 1969 - Foghorn Leghorn takes some LSD, gets down but not funky.
• 1983 - King Kong's daughter, Stella Kovalski McKong is born. Stella quickly learns the Funky Chicken from hens at a local farm.
• 1984 - Prime Minister Bakka-Lakka Da'kka declares the People's Republic of Jerkmenistan free from Morongolian rule.
• 1985 - Chickens go to a local disco dance party and gain popularity with their chicken dance. They are described as being poultry in motion.
• 1992 - A vacationing group of retirees are attacked by flock of angry chickens while dancing the Macarena.
• 2006 - The First Annual International Day to Talk Like an 80's Metal Singer is celebrated in Henton, Illinois. Millions attempting to imitate Ozzy Osbourne are instantly shot. Twice.
• 2007 - In a bid to improve the aerodynamic characteristics of his body, Asafa Powell amputates his nipples. Wikia admins heartily approve, but chickens are confused.