Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/September 22

September 22: Autumnal Unquinox, Annual Shout at the Elderly Day

• 66 CE - Emperor Nero creates the Legion Italica, who wrote in all italics.
• 1465 - Aztec tourists discover autumn in the resort town of Equinox, Vermont, a town named for an Aroostook chief who tended to fall off his horse. The first day of autumn is named after the town.
• 1742 - Instead of the sun, a giant inflatable Wario head rises in the east followed by an encore of Bowser's Castle music for the entire morning. This would be heard and seen all over the globe.
• 1785 - Britain fails to recognise autumn any longer, after realising that "the weather's always crap, every bloody day!"
• 1816 - Autumn is cancelled after the Year Without a Summer.
• 1827 - Some guy invents Mormonism.
• 1867 - New England businessmen and scientists announce they genetically modified trees to change colors in autumn, as part of a plan to lure Southern tourists back North after the Civil War. The plan fails when the first Southern tourists complain about the integration of colored trees with non-colored trees.
• 1960 - Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham is first published, provoking the law that Best Before Date stickers are to be put on all eggs and ham. This law is later extended to include all perishable food items and Michael Jackson's career.
• 2001 - The Federal Communications Commission places a largely ignored ban on the use of fall as a synonym for autumn, citing complaints by family members of September 11 victims.
• 2004 - The countdown timer in Lost secretly goes below zero and counts down to minus 108, before displaying a picture of the Rosetta Stone and then a large Wikipedia logo. On a completely unrelated note, a plane crashes on the island and the first series of Lost begins.