Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/March 12

March 12: Annual Nice Day for an Indecent Exposure Crackdown

• 1072 - Lady Godiva makes her famous naked ride through the streets of Coventry. She and her naked horse are each fined a shilling each.
• 1504 - Michelangelo's David is indecently exposed to the naked world. The naked world goes home to cover up.
• 1867 - Oscar Wilde heavily uses redirects while composing his play Nera; or The Nihilists.
• 1894 - Coca Cola is first bottled and sold. Its all-cocaine formula would prove to be immensely popular, eclipsing its competitors Creamy Horseshit and Fruity Skunk. Hot sawdust sandwich lunches would never be the same again.
• 1923 - Sir Reginald Humptington cuts down a tree in Central America, officially kicking off mankind's war against the rainforest.
• 1947 - Howard Hughes flies his experimental jet aircraft, the Loose Goose, completely made of compressed sand. The plane disintegrates on takeoff with Hughes noting, "I meant to do that."
• 1962 - Surfers take over much of Southern California, rendering it uninhabitable for decades.
• 1982 - Hospital administrators announce that disco has slipped into a coma and not expected to survive.
• 1996 - The Daily Show featuring John Stewart premiers on Comedy Central, proving that Jewish guys can make a living as a comedian.
• 2010 - Scientists discover a way to float black censor strips in real life over the private parts of zoo animals and pets. US politicians are outraged when they too have black censor strips constantly floating over their private parts despite their constant public exposure.