Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 4

August 4: National Sasquatch Awareness Day (Canada)

• 1753 - George Washington tells a lie. Universe-ending consequences ensue.
• 1794 - At the height of the French Revolution, the common contemporary ailment of Separation Issues was first documented. (pictured)
• 1891 - Oscar Wilde's article The Soul of Man Under Socialism is published in the Fortnightly Review. Wilde's scathing commentary on Socialism is followed up the next fortnight by a scathing treatise on women horse-drawn buggy drivers.
• 1910 - Aluminum foil is invented by American scientists. Coincidentally, British scientists invent aluminium foil the very same day.
• 1914 - Britain declares war on Germany, thus starting World War I. The United States insists on not getting involved in lovers' quarrels.
• 1924 - Under the leadership of the Teletubbies, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish clinch a perfect 11-0 season with a rousing defeat of rival USC.
• 1924 again - Diplomatic relations between Mexico and the Soviet Union are established. The trade of tequila for vodka enjoys brief success, but is later overshadowed by the roaring success of the furry hats and sombreros exchange.
• 1967 - The famous Patterson-Gimlin film is shown publicly, showing a sasquatch walking away from the grassy knoll after the John F. Kennedy assassination.
• 1986 - Chernobyl, a pleasantly glowing hamlet located on the beautiful Pripyat River, opens for its first tourist season.
• 1993 - A sasquatch pride parade down New York City's Fifth Avenue ends in chaos as animal rights activists protest against sasquatch wearing fur coats.
• 2011 - California approves the first of many sasquatch-furry marriages despite questions about allergies to fake and real fur.