UnNews:Tourists to Greece told to bring own gyros
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| Tourists to Greece told to bring own gyros | 
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30 June 2015
LONDON -- Tourists going on holiday to Greece should take enough gyros to cover the entire trip, in case they can’t find an open restaurant to serve a local dish for the purposes of posting on facebook.
Chancellor George Osborne said budget holidaymakers should “prepare for the worst”, in terms of being unable to demonstrate the pretense of willing foreign food experimentation and sophistication on social media; potentially making the annual holiday a complete waste of money.
“There is nothing quite as satisfying as posting a plateful of kalamari and a half drunk glass of retsina to your five thousand Facebook friends,” said Osborne, “before throwing the lot in the nearest pelikai and tucking into sausage and chips, washed down with Carlsberg lager.
“With Greece’s escalating financial crisis, tourists may find themselves having to go to the market, where they will be unable to recognize anything on the shelves, as traditional Greek food is always freshly prepared from scratch. Fortunately, most of our larger supermarkets have a range of very photogenic moussakas, kleftico and souvlaki that can be microwaved for the authentic steam effect, or just photographed cold, if the oven is being used for your Hawaiian thick-crust pizza.”
The advice raises the prospect of thousands of British tourists arriving in the country loaded down with kilos of tinned stifado, tubs of halloumi, hummus, pitta and olives. Mr. Osborne said travel companies will provide a list of the most impressive Greek foods available in LIDL, including pictures to assist superstore staff.
The announcement came after travel companies insisted they would not issue refunds to people who decide to try cancel their holidays, because they will be unable to show off to their food ordering skills on social media.
Thomas Cook travel agent, Holly Day said: “Now that everyone gets a tan from Boots, the only way to show you are an international jetsetter for ten days a year is to post a giant, steaming kokkinisto, with “nom nom lol” in the comment box. The rest of the evening can then be wiled away with an air of satisfaction as the “likes” start to roll in. With so few restaurants open at the moment that provide both Chtapodi sti schara and fish fingers on the menu, you might as well go to Spain, or spend the money learning to cook.”
Sources[edit]
- Tom McTague and John Hutchinson "Take enough Euros to cover your ENTIRE holiday to Greece, warns Osborne as expat pensioners offered help to switch accounts". Daily Mail, June 29 2015