UnNews:Thai police hunt Khun Gort

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

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UnNews

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Saturday, December 21, 2024, 17:08:59 (UTC)

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18 January 2008

The robber

Khun Gort loses his temper with a 7-Eleven staff member when he sees that the cigarette display is covered up and the staff refuse to sell him beer before 5pm

BANGKOK, Thailand -- Thai police have issued an artists' impression of a person of interest in a robbery.

A police spokesman said "We are seeking information from the public about this robber. We advise the public not to approach him as he appears to be armed with some kind of ray that is capable of destroying the entire planet. Under no circumstances should the public attempt to speak to him as there is a very real risk that you might unintentionally say something amusing and get embarrassed or even vaporised."

He added "We believe his name may be Khun Gort. A witness said that he was flashing some kind of intergalactic police badge around. He's of average height at about 4m and a bit shiny."

The police are also seeking information from the public about the getaway vehicle.

Khun Gort loses his temper again embarrassing everyone present

A spokesman said "It was a large silver disk-like vehicle that seemed to be able to fly, a bit like a silver plate or a wok, a big, shiny, metallic airborne plate or wok like thing that can hover. Imagine, if you will, a plate or wok, made out of silver and instead of sitting on the table or cooker it was big and and shiny and flew around above the table or cooker...it was a bit like that without the table or the cooker. We should probably come up with a more catchy description so that the public can remember it."

Khun Gort is thought to have got away with 200 Baht, a packet of Colon bisquits, 2 bottles of Leo beer, a Hello Kitty clock and an Academy Fantasia magazine from a 7-Eleven.

Sources

• "Jing Jing!". Bangkok today, January 17, 2008