UnNews:Serial rapist of pregnant teens arrested
| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Tuesday, November 5, 2024, 12:17:59 (UTC) |
| Serial rapist of pregnant teens arrested | 
|
27 February 2013
Allentown, Pennsylvania -- Allentown law enforcement have announced the arrest of suspected serial rapist Robert Sanchez. Sanchez is charged with raping 4 teenagers, at least two of whom were pregnant. Preliminary reports indicate the Sanchez, 21, was not a regular uncyclopedia user, despite some early rumors to the contrary.
"It started when Sanchez commented on some preggo pics I uploaded, I was 7 months pregnant at the time," said one anonymous victim. "We started talking, then I went over to his house to watch a movie. He then asked to asked if he could rub my belly because it was so big. Then he pinned be down, and started to kiss me while I told him to stop. I tried to fight back to protect my unborn baby."
"While I'll not trying to blame the victim, she handled the situation completely wrong," said obstetrician Dr. Basil Pregnophilos. "Fighting back against a rapist while pregnant is far more likely to result in injury to the fetus than lying back and taking it. In most situations, the rapist does not to harm the victim or her unborn child, except for the rare cases in which the rapist happens to have an abortion fetish. However, if the rapist does have an abortion fetus, he will normally be able to induce a miscarriage regardless of what actions the victim takes. Some doctors recommend always actively resisting rape, to ensure that the victim's reproductive treats the action as a legitimate rape, and shuts down, preventing unwanted pregnancies. But, in case the pregnant rape victims, such concerns would be irrelevant."
"Raping pregnant teens is just wrong. I always make sure my pregnant rape victims are over the age of consent, because I have moral standards," said Preggobear, "One of the victims was 4 months pregnant and only 14 years old, what was he thinking? Now she'll be traumatized for life, which means she'll never post a pregnant pic on facebook ever. And trying to hook up with her during a future pregnancy will be totally impossible."
Preggobear continued, "I would ask Sanchez if that rape was worth it. I mean, seriously, at 4 months pregnant, her belly would probably be no bigger than a nonpregnant woman sticking her belly out. At least he could have waited until her belly was big enough to be worth raping. Now, there is no way she will ever trust anyone enough again to be preggo date-raped by someone else. The only way someone could rape her in the future is by a jump-out-of-bushes style rape. And no-one wants to rape someone on the grass in the woods, with all the bugs and sticks."
Sources[edit]
- Pamela Lehman "Rapist preyed on pregnant teens, Bethlehem police say". Morning Call, February 20, 2013
- Bethlehem Patch "'Serial Rapist' Charged With 5th Attack on Teen, Police Say". Bethlehem Patch, February 21, 2013