UnNews:Queen Elizabeth vanishes

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18 May 2022

'Mummy has gone!'

LONDON, United Kingdom -- Queen Elizabeth of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and other places vanished before she could deliver a speech in the British Houses of Parliament. One moment she was there wearing her crown, then suddenly she vanished like a ghost before millions of viewers. Her son and heir Prince Charles staggered up to the stage to take over whilst a hunt was conducted for the missing monarch.

"It was just like the scene in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy throws a glass of water at the wicked witch," said Prime Minister Boris Johnson. "Her majesty didn't have time to say she was melting before we left looking at an empty crown lying on a satin pillow."

The cynical suggest this was all a stage-managed practice run for when Prince Andrew is formally photoshopped into oblivion for being friends of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. So far the Queen hasn't been found, though there were photos of someone who looked like her at Windsor Castle, buying a ticket for a train ride around London to keep out of the public eye.

Prince Charles reassured the nation that, if 'Mummy' can't be found, he was willing to take her job now before he gets any older.