UnNews:Purdue co-ed insists: Sluts don't cause earthquakes
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
|Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?||✪||UnNews||✪||Friday, December 1, 2023, 16:22:UTC)(|
|Purdue co-ed insists: Sluts don't cause earthquakes|
26 April 2010
This bombshell was dropped by Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi one week ago. "Many women who do not dress modestly...lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which [causes] earthquakes," Sedighi had said. He was quoted in the Iranian media, generally considered infallible in matters of natural events and their causes.
A slutty co-ed at Purdue University here immediately created the
Slutquake group on Facebook, challenging like-minded women to "show some cleavage, flash a little beaver, whatever you feel comfortable doing," to soundly disprove the cleric's theory. She plans to measure global seismic activity during the 24-hour test and compare it with the historical norm. To date, almost 200,000 people have joined the Facebook group, implicitly promising to make the earth move today in order to show that the earth does not move.
Student Mark Webster took part by baring a tuft of chest hair from his unbuttoned plaid shirt. Wa-hey, down, boy! "It's great to poke fun at these irrational things," he said. "The truth is that there are no slutty co-eds anywhere in the Ivy League."
On the off chance that global upheavals actually subside during the 24-hour test period, the experiment may usher in a wonderful new era of sluttiness. Meanwhile, the co-ed, majoring in both genetics and evolution, insists that, "when this is done I hope to be known for the actual science that I do." However, Lafayette's seven Gentlemen's Lounges will provide a fine fallback career.
- Eric Weddle "Purdue student's revealing 'boobquake' experiment starts". West Lafayette, Indiana Journal & Courier, April 26, 2010