UnNews:Prince Andrew finds new role
| We have met the enemy, and he is us | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Saturday, December 21, 2024, 17:52:59 (UTC) |
| Prince Andrew finds new role | 
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15 January 2022
LONDON -- Disgraced British royal Prince Andrew has come up with a new career option. He will become the new Prince. Andrew will swap his various military uniforms (as they are no longer needed) for purple spandex and glittery jackets. Andrew says he is undergoing a lot of physical work for the 61-year-old member (now hidden) of the House of Windsor so he can get in shape for stage work.
"It's going to be a bit of a squeeze to fit into the clothes but, I will have my Savile Row tailors run up some copies. I am sure the American chappie won't mind, as he has been dead since 2016, and audiences will be amazed to see me do this. I have to find a source of income now." Indeed, in 1993, the American chappie renounced entirely the name that Andrew has adopted.
Prince Andrew (or the Duke of York, as he is formally known) has been looking for a new role to play since H.M. Queen Elizabeth D.G. removed his scepter, both orbs, and related accoutrements, after learning he is facing trial for sex trafficking. Of his best character witnesses, one is dead and the other is in prison awaiting sentence.
The artist formerly known as Prince Andrew continued, "I admit I am in a bit of a pickle, but the royal show must go on, even if I am no longer officially part of it now. I could get lucky, like my nephew, and find a new wife to help. Especially if she is rich."
Sources[edit]
- Staff "Prince Andrew is the new Prince!". BBC, January 13, 2022