UnNews:Obama feeds his kids, revealing his disgusting Socialist tendencies
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| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, November 21, 2024, 18:58:59 (UTC) |
| Obama feeds his kids, revealing his disgusting Socialist tendencies | 
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1 June 2009
WASHINGTON DC, USA -- Today, the worst fears of many American Conservatives were realized when current president Barack Obama fed his two children, Sasha and Malia. It happened at approximately 7:30 yesterday afternoon, when Obama came back from a press conference with a donut each for his two daughters, and (warning: this may shock sensitive readers): he GAVE the donuts to his daughters without charging them a cent.
"Giving stuff away for free is anti-American," says Ann Coulter, a conservative author and prize-winning arm wrestler, "Children need to be taught to fend for themselves and be independent. I mean, if you give your children food, where does it end? Next thing you know, they'll be asking for water, shelter, even LOVE! Giving is for socialists."
"Giving is for socialists" seems to be the consensus of opinion in America. Protests have erupted all over the nation, organized by Americans concerned by Obama feeding his own children.
"Feeding your own kids contradicts American values of self-reliance!" said one angry protestor. Indeed, the vast majority of American parents make their children pay for food with borrowed money (and interest rates that increase depending on the length of the meal).
"Until Obama starts demanding money from his penniless children, he won't be a true capitalist," says Rush Limbaugh, "I personally think he should do what I do. I demand that my children feed ME!!!"
