UnNews:Next US election to be called "2020"

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Where man always bites dog ✪ UnNews ✪ Saturday, December 21, 2024, 18:15:59 (UTC)
Next US election to be called "2020" UnNews Logo Potato.png

30 September 2014

The chance of cancelling the next election is laughably slim, smaller even than an Ebola epidemic in the U.S.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Government announced on Tuesday that the next Presidential election will be formally known as the "Election of 2020."

The move follows close on the heels of the announcement by Microsoft that it will skip Windows 9 and name the next release of its signature operating system, Windows 10, in order to "distance" the new software from Windows 8, which continues to lose market share every month even within the niche of unshakable Microsoft fans.

American elections occur every four years, meaning that the next election is set for November 2016. An uneducated person might think that this election would be called the "Election of 2016." Presidential spokesman "Josh" Earnest said the government's announcement gives needed clarity. Also, if it turns out badly, President Obama might be totally unaware of it until he reads about it in the newspaper, hence the press release.

The Republican Party has been mailing fundraising letters for years claiming it needs more campaign contributions because there is a chance that the lawless Emperor Obama will cancel the "Election of 2016" and govern by fiat. Speaker John Boehner said the House will do nothing about this grave threat because Mr. Obama "might veto it and claim it is our fault that the government shut down." Taking a stand on an actual issue might disrupt the imminent Republican sweep of the Senate this November, in what is still known as the "Election of 2014."

Mr. Earnest said that the winner of the "Election of 2020" will be inaugurated on schedule, on January 20, 2021. Presumptive Presidentess-electess Hillary Clinton will on that day offer Vladimir Putin a new Reset button, this one labeled "Start" — which will not be mis-translated into Russian.

Sources[edit]

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:Next_US_election_to_be_called_%222020%22&oldid=6167890"