UnNews:Manassas PD hungers for young cocks

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10 July 2014

A young black cock, a favorite among the Manassas police department.
A silky young white cock, another favorite among Manassas police.

Manassas, Virginia -- A police spokesperson responded today to allegations that their police department loves young cocks.

"Why yes, you could say we do. Most definitely do. There is nothing better than a fresh young cock, unmarred by the world. The taste compares to nothing," stated the spokesperson before shifting their weight like they was getting uncomfortable.

The spokesperson continued, "Sure, some people love the breasts on the hens, but I can tell you from experience that there's nothing better than the leg and thighs attached to a young cock. Some people like veal, but I'm not a fan of beef. Give me a fresh young cock any day."

The spokesperson then paused for a moment, regained their composure, and continued on with their strange rant about young cock: "Firm, juicy young cocks are sometimes hard to come by. I love it so much. I even have a chicken calendar on my wall - I hate months with hens on them. Give me a young rooster any day. Sure, I've had old cocks, and I've had plenty of hens as well - breasts are okay, but really nothing is as filled with juice as a fresh young cock. And the meat attached to it, wow!"

"Folks, we're going to have to wrap it up, as I'm quite hor-hungry now. Have a nice day."

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