UnNews:India moon failure provokes joyous new mood

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The news outlet with approval higher than Congress ✪ UnNews ✪ Thursday, November 21, 2024, 14:43:59 (UTC)
India moon failure provokes joyous new mood UnNews Logo Potato.png

8 September 2019

The plan for the Vikram lander. Touchdown was to take 66 seconds. (The clock is stopped during the try for the extra point.)

ROHTAK, India -- Prime Minister Narendra Modi said an "Isro spirit" has gripped the country following moon mission Chandrayaar-2. He said the events of September 7, at 1:50 in the morning, "awakened and united the entire country" and got everyone to sit around the television at the same time.

The events were, of course, that the unmanned Vikram lunar lander, which had successfully separated from the lunar orbiter, got within 2.1 km (1 mi and change) of the moon's surface, close to the moon's South Pole. It was to do a quick check for flocks of penguins and then choose one of two landing sites. At that moment — when India was on the verge of joining the exclusive soft-moon-landing "club" of three nations — video was jostled and then went out entirely.

Isro (the Indian Space Research Organisation) said Vikram has been detected on the lunar surface — all over it, in fact — and that the mission must go down as only a partial national triumph. Engineers cannot exactly tell that the artifacts are Vikram, but say there was nothing in those spots last week, and it is unlikely that squatters set up a tent city and erected chip shops, 7-11s, and taxi stands, which is the only other thing it could be.

Isro researchers said that the most likely cause of the hard landing is that Vikram's prepaid phone card ran out of megabytes, 66 seconds before its final maneuvers.

Supporting the view that there is something positive to take out of the fracas, an Isro senior scientist said the orbiter's cameras are at 90° (194°F). "We have an advantage in locating ice and water." Examples would be rivers and freshwater lakes. Engineers may command the orbiter to lower its orbit for a closer view, despite what happened when Vikram did that. Transporting the ice and water back to India would be an entirely new project for Isro.

Go to the Front Page
UnNews Senior Editors are currently spilling coffee on this related article:

Beresheet takes moon photo, mission not total loss

Meanwhile, Prime Minister Modi, kicking off the election campaign in the state of Haryana, praised the national mood. "Like a sportsman spirit, an Isro spirit is running in the country. Countrymen are not ready to accept negativity," he said. Even when that is the inevitable conclusion.

According to Modi, if India can celebrate a screw-up like this, there is nothing the nation cannot declare its intention to achieve.

Sources[edit]

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:India_moon_failure_provokes_joyous_new_mood&oldid=6098671"