UnNews:Icahn buys majority stake in Antifa
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| Icahn buys majority stake in Antifa | 
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22 February 2022
CAPITAL HILL AUTONOMOUS ZONE (CHAZ), Washington -- American corporate raider Carl Icahn has purchased a majority stake in bomb-throwing protest group Antifa, vowing to force the group to adopt a more humane policy toward pigs.
The move comes just weeks after Icahn asserted greater control over the Board of Directors of McDonald's, to try to get it to give the porcine tenants of its processing facilities a better stay en route to becoming Breakfast McSausages.
Icahn's method is to buy up a large stake in an enterprise and privately meet with its board to induce it to avoid a proxy fight by seating several of his sockpuppets, by which to adopt some of his desired policies. Antifa, meanwhile, is the group that conducted protests throughout the summer of 2020 that were "mostly peaceful" when television cameras were aimed to minimize the view of burning buildings in the background. It has since ceded this six-block area of Seattle back to the municipal government, though it still does business from the police station, which the police elected not to reoccupy in view of the strong odors.
One of Antifa's signature chants, "Pigs in a blanket! Fry 'em like bacon" surely aroused Icahn's passion for animal welfare.
Sources[edit]
- Staff "McDonald's pig policy fight escalates with board nominations". BBC, February 21, 2022