UnNews:Harsh winter could trigger Scottish independence vote

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15 October 2015

SNP's Westminster leader Angus Robertson, says that lightning could easily spark a second Scottish independence vote.

LONDON -- The Scottish National Party's Westminster leader, Angus of the Robertson Clan, announced today ahead of the party conference, that bad weather is among the most likely events that would be a trigger for a second Scottish Independence referendum.

The first referendum was spearheaded by the SNP's promise that the Scottish independence vote will be a once-a-generation opportunity for the Scots to win the 1745 battle of Culloden. Scotland however, voted NO; because they realised that a YES vote would render their favourite newspaper, the Daily Record, completely pointless.

It seems losing the vote last year was not a once-in-a-lifetime chance, but a mere patch of black ice in the road for the SNP's mission. Ahead the conference today, the Party’s Westminster leader signalled that if Britain suffers a harsh winter, it could spark a second vote for Scottish independence. Mr Robertson said that David Cameron had no solutions to the problems of sub-zero temperatures, ice, snow and gale-force winds during the winter months.

Mr Robertson also said that other triggers might include: leaving the EU, launching operations in Syria, making 20 miles of the M25 contraflow and a top-ten hit by The Proclaimers. The Prime Minister said that the early arrival of the first migratory swans does not necessarily mean a harsh winter nor justify a second referendum. However, Mr Robertson hastily added that swans are also a strong trigger, any time of year.

The Scots themselves remain unconvinced and are cautious about evening the score, especially through politics. Historically speaking, right now, the Sassenachs are the only ones in the wrong, so the Scots feel quite comfortable hating the English the way they always have, for hundreds of years. And no one likes to break lively traditions.

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