UnNews:Gordon Brown "less popular than AIDS" according to new poll.
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| Gordon Brown "less popular than AIDS" according to new poll. | 
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10 June 2008
PRIME MINISTER GORDON BROWN is officially "worse than AIDS" a damning new poll has revealed today. The poll found his rating HAS fallen to 0.9% below that of AIDS and is projected to fall further, possibly becoming less popular than even the Ebola virus and gay sailors.
It is a spectacular fall from grace considering that a similar poll conducted in May 2007 had Gordon Brown as being marginally more popular than "a mild intolerance of dairy products". Not since former Prime Minister John Major was deemed to be more annoying than "a septic in-growing toenail" in 1995 has a modern day leader been held in less regard.
Government spokesman Harold Bummstunk attempted to laugh off the suggestion that people prefer AIDS to Gordon Brown in a terse statement, "to compare our esteemed Prime Minister against AIDS is preposterous. I mean, did AIDS steer this nation through 10 unbroken years ofr economic prosperity? No, it didn't."
The polls assertion that Brown is "worse than AIDS" comes after a related poll found that predecessor, Tony Blair didn't fair much better. Whilst Blair was not seen to be worse than AIDS the poll found that the former Prime Minister was akin "to a smear of dog shit on the bottom of a shoe". Conversely the poll concluded that Maggie Thatcher was percieved to be "like an erect ladies nipple, pushing suggestively against the thin fabric of a skimpy T-shirt."
Poll author Smeyton Shatt defended the findings this morning, "the numbers don't lie, I polled every single one of my house mates and they are all in agreement, Thatcher was one sexy bitch!"
Sources[edit]
- do "die of ignorance". bollocks, June 10, 2008
- Jimmy James and the Vagabonds "ADIS - Don't die of dyslexia". Snipcock & Tweed, June 14, 2008
- The Stranglers "Gordon Brown, Texture Like Sun". EMI, June 7, 2004
- Jilted John "Gordon Is A Moron". WB, June 9, 2001