UnNews:European Union prepares for Brexit
| We distort, you deride | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Sunday, December 22, 2024, 03:14:59 (UTC) |
| European Union prepares for Brexit | 
|
30 March 2017
BRUSSELS, Holy Euro Empire -- The Empire has finished construction of the Brexit Wall in time to be ready when the British invade continental Europe with their buttered scones and football hooligans.
Looking out to sea with her fellow Axis of Complacency henchmen/henchwomen, Chief Hun Angela Merkel said, "Europe is ready for anything the English throw at us...including their rubbish.
"The English will receive a very hot welcome if they arrive on our coastlines with their cheap trash. Europe is united and we will make sure no one will follow the example of the English leader Queen Theresa May and go against out 500 million Reich. What do you say France? Yes, we are all agreed!"
Since the Brexit vote in 2016, the European Union has been building a wall along the Atlantic Coast to prevent British-made — or even British-labelled but made in China and India — goods from invading the mainland. Merkel believes the Atlantic Wall (or "Defence Against Immoral Anglo-Saxon Capitalism") will hold firm. She is especially confident as most of the wall was made with German steel, which means it is built to last 1,000 years.
"So we say to Theresa May. Go back to your island and prepare to be squashed!!"
Queen May responded, "Though I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, I am going to channel Queen Elizabeth I from now on. Let us prepare for the European Armada!"
Sources[edit]
- Joris Luyendijk "Unlike a divorce, the terms of Brexit aren’t up for discussion". The Guardian, March 30, 2017