UnNews:David Bowie to be buried on Mars

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11 January 2016

David Bowie's closest encounter with Mars changed only his hair color.

CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida -- Former British astronaut and singer David Bowie has requested that his ashes be scattered on Mars when the first manned mission is sent to the Red Planet.

In a codicil to his will, Bowie, who died on January 10, said he wanted to rejoin Major Tom on one final mission. Bowie's original space shot was aborted back in 1969, when the Americans reached the Moon and the British space program ran out of money for the rival Mars mission.

NASA said it hopes to arrange this in the "very near future" and that, as a memorial to Bowie, a range of mountains will be renamed in his honor, with landmarks such as Kooks Valley, Diamond Dogs Depression, and Hunky Dory Crater.

"By renaming a lot of Mars after David Bowie and his songs, we hope to interest more people in a future Mars space progam, said a spokesman for NASA, whose badge read Z.Stardust. "For too long, we have equated Mars with Tim Burton, aliens, and chocolate bars. A more Bowie-friendly planet will change that."

The Mars mission is expected some time in the 2020s. If, by chance, Bowie and his music fall out of fashion, NASA would send Justin Bieber instead — alive or dead.