UnNews:Bush Creates Czar Czar post

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Straight talk, from straight faces ✪ UnNews ✪ Sunday, December 22, 2024, 12:06:59 (UTC)
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16 May 2007

Human Rights Czar Von Doom is a supporter of Bush's drive to ignore the Geneva conventions, having used similar tactics against insurgents in Latveria.

WASHINGTON BFI President Bush today created the post of Czar Czar. Tony Blair described it as "A gutsy move, yes sir!" during a smoke-in with Alabama supporter Blanche Blanc.

The post was required to keep track of all the other Czars bush has appointed, among them Terrorism Czar Osama Bin Laden who is responsible for organizing terrorism, War Czar Bill Gates responsible for organizing war (unlike the secretary of defense or the joint chiefs of staff who are not at all in command of warfare), Cold War Czar Nicholas The Second (in charge of fighting communism) and President Czar Dick Cheney, who is responsible for coordinating the president.

It was not immediately known if the Czar Czar would oversee the God czar, which would thus put him in control of all of the universe, a possible conflict of interests with the universe czar. President Bush has been adamant in his support of the Universe Czar, pointing out that despite problems with the Particle Czar, he's "usually kind to smaller Czars."

The potential conflicts between the Terrorism Czar and the War on Terrorism Czar are shown in red

Human Rights Czar Dr. Viktor Von Doom, PhD stated that he would not be under the direction of the Czar Czar, saying, "Doom will not be subjugated! Doom will torture this puny Czar Czar until he turns over his post to Doom!"

Some people were nervous regarding the president's plan to completely supplant democracy by adding more appointed positions that seem to have little point. However it should be noted that the President is already under the command of the President Czar, who is under the command of God, who is himself under the command of the god Czar. If you just read that, you're probably too busy having a seizure to question the President's plans, but if not here's a "helpful" diagram.

Asked why he continues to create meaningless new bureaucratic positions that already exist under a different name, President Bush was candid in his explanation:

"I want to reduce beaurocracy"

Bush then handed the microphone over to his newly selected interview Czar, who then debated with white house press secretary Tony Snow, and white house press secretary czar Conrad Brean as to who would get to speak next. A fight broke out soon after, but it is not known how many had to be hospitalized as the medical czar was golfing with the surgeon general.

Sources[edit]


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