UnNews:Australian Space Force called a waste of space

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard ✪ UnNews ✪ Thursday, May 23, 2024, 14:53:59 (UTC)
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22 March 2022

Dutton explains why Australia needs a Space Force, when the country is clearly surrounded by water and not space.

CANBERRA, Australia -- Australian Defence Minister Peter Dutton announced that the Australian Defence Force will be divided into a four-branch "Space Force" in the image of its American counterpart.

Dutton took the decision after a weekend of binge-watching seasons 1 and 2 of the Steve Carell comedy series Space Force on Netflix. To critics who said the Australian Army, Navy and Air Force are sufficient for defending Australia (and maybe Tasmania if they really have to), he said the Space Force will protect Australia's interest in space and the galaxy as a whole. However, he added, "As of now, there is nothing in space for us, so instead, Space Force is going to focus on stopping cyber attacks." This comes after reports that China may join Russia's side in the event of World War III if the Ukrainian invasion succeeds. Dutton said a joint attack on Australia's satellites could put Netflix entirely out of reach.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison implied his support for the new military branch by saying nothing at all. The Space Force's initial report to Parliament stated that, instead of wasting money on more nuclear submarines for the Navy, Australia should now waste it on starships, salt-shaker-based weapons, and glittery uniforms as seen in Star Trek. However, this is likely to lead to extended debate in Parliament as to whether that show was better than Star Wars.

The Australian Space Force is further rebutting charges that it is a waste of space by occupying 20 terabytes of storage space on the super-computer in the basement of the ASIO building on the Gold Coast.

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