UnNews:Alex Trebek suffers heart attack

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11 December 2007

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Game show host and professional French pronouncer Alex Trebek.

“Had a rough night, did we Trebek? Haha!”

~ Sean Connery on hearing the news

LOS ANGELES, California -- After failing to phrase his response in the form of a question, television game show host Alex Trebek suffered a heart attack at a local store.

Trebek, 67, collapsed in his local 7-11 convenience store after a conversation with a fellow customer. Security camera footage provided to UnNews by the convenience store details the discussion that led to Trebek's attack.

Richard Carroll, the man who almost killed off a national treasure, the dickbag.

Richard Carroll, a third year student at University of California - Los Angeles, initiated the conversation by asking "Excuse me, hey, hey, hey guy, hey, are you that guy, that guy on the, what's the guy, you're that guy..."

  • Carroll: "Yeah! Yeah, yeah, Alex Trebek, from that show, that show thing on channel 6, that thing, that, uh..."
  • Trebek: "What is Jeopardy!?"
  • Carroll: "Yeah! Yeah, Jeopardy! Wow, can I have, uh, have your, uh, whatsit... autograph!"
  • Trebek: "Sure. I mean, uh, where is sure. WHO is sure? WHAT IS SHORE? WHAT IS OH DEAR GOD, CALL AN AMBULANCE! WHY AM I DYING?"

Upon arriving at his local hospital, the long-time television presenter expressed concern at his new location by reportedly asking a nearby nurse, "Where have you taken me?" Upon learning of his hospitalization, Trebek noted that he "hate[s] the hospital. I mean who hates the hospital? Do I hate the--"

Services are scheduled for Saturday at MacArthur Cemetery, immediately after Wheel of Fortune.