Toowoomba
Toowoomba (also known as little Brisbane) is a kind of big(ish) city in Queensland, Canada. It's situated on a big hill on the edge of the Darren Lockyer Valley. It is Queensland's flower capital, as well as a Mormon safe-space.
History[edit]
420 years ago, Rastafarians climbed a big hill and found plenty of empty land to grow marijuana. They continued doing so for 4 months and 20 days, until the cops came and raided their farms.
100 years later, Mormons from Warwick set up a church on James Street. Some people from Ipswich saw it on the news and tried to visit. They got stuck at the bottom of the big hill because they were too lazy, so they created the town of Withcott instead. Then a swarm of wallabies invaded the church, converted the Mormons to Anglicans and established the settlement of San Francisco. They found out the Yanks already built San Francisco so they built Toowoomba instead. The Anglicans soon became known as Toowoomba Regional Council.
The Withcott people built a big road up the hill eventually, which resulted in heaps of Ipswich bogans invading the city. They were put in a camp in Wilsonton, where they remain to this day. One day, the road got infested with Dalby people so they built another one a bit more north of the old one, charging 2 Playboy magazines per car.
Porn Ban[edit]
Pornography has been banned in Toowoomba ever since Go Via snatched a magazine of Wiz Kfalifa's Mum from a truckie from Chinchilla. Toowoomba Regional Council got OCD from the watermelon stains so porn has been banned ever since. The Mormons wouldn't be impressed, I don't think.
Darren Lockyer[edit]
One day, Darren Lockyer jumped off the edge of the hill, landing of the Warrego Highway, and survived. It became Darren Lockyer Way, upgraded to a 14-lane motorway. The impact of the land left a massive crater, which became the Darren Lockyer Valley. It also made Dalby completely flat, somehow.
Gardens[edit]
After the mass marijuana raids, wallaby settlers decided to grow flowers for gay pride. Although homosexuality is a capital offence in Toowoomba, they grow flowers to support LGBT people instead. People from Brisbane describe Toowoomba as 'pretty gay mate'.
Other Names[edit]
- Poo-Woomba
- Pornwoomba
- Little Brisbane
- The Anti- Gympie
- Jesusville